Year or Life Review: Items 16-18

The next three:

16.  What drains me?

17.  What do I need to practice more of in my life?

18.  What would I like less of in my life?

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Year or Life Review: Items 13-15

The next series of three:

13.  What are the Best and Worst  things that have ever happened to me and how did I benefit from these experiences?

14.  What are my goals, and what would I like to do more of?

15.  What are the things that "restore my soul"?

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Year or Life Review: Items 10-12

Here are the next three in the series:

10.  Who are my favorite people and why?

11.  What are my favorite places and why?

12.  What legacy would I like to leave in this world?

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Year or Life Review: Items 7-9

Here are the next three items for the "review" for you to ponder:

7.  What is my basic life philosophy? (This can be a one-sentence statement, or you can list up to 5 "bullet point" items.  My example is below)

    My Basic Philosophy of Life as of Jan 2010

   1.  God's in charge of this world, and I'm not

    2.  Everything has a purpose

    3.  I can't solve every problem but I can do my best with some of them

    4.  The most important thing is to pay attention

    5.  I need to consult both my intellect and my emotions in all situations

8.  What friendships have I lost any why?

9.  What are the special gifts I bring to the world?

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The Year (or Life) Review: Items 1 - 6

The last post included the first three items of the 30 item Year/Life Review.  I've included the first three again, followed by the next three:

1.  What are (or have been) my biggest assets and resources?

2.  What were my biggest mistakes and what did I learn from them?

3.  What were my best decisions?

The next three:

4.  What were or are my biggest personal challenges?

5.  What would I do over, and how?

6.  Who do I want to emulate and why?

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A Review: Just for This Year... Or For Your Life So Far :)

I recently took a few days off to reflect on my life this year, and found myself also reflecting on the entirety of my life.  I came up with a list of questions that, with few exceptions, could apply to any given year, or to a life review.  So far there are 30 questions, and I will list them in groups of three over the next couple of weeks for you all to play with, ponder over, reflect on.  All of the questions are only designed to be thought-provoking, this isn't meant to be a "beat yourself up" exercise, so take them in the spirit they are meant.  Let's get started!

1:  What are the best decisions I made this year (or I've ever made)?

2.  What are the biggest mistakes I made this year (or I've ever made) and what did I learn from them?

3.  What are my greatest assets and resources in life?

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Worry and Fear as Spiritual Practices

In Lewis Richmond's book "Work as a Spiritual Practice", he has a chapter on Worry.  He begins by saying: "Just as fear is courage in the making, worry is wisdom in the making."

What a transformative way to approach these two troublesome animals.  I think we often feel if we worry or are fearful, we are somehow "bad" in a spiritual sense.  After all, so much about faith and spirituality encourages an attitude of trust. 

A rock-climbing friend of mine once said, "Nothing focuses the mind like the fear of imminent death."  Indeed. 

Worry and fear are not in and of themselves, the enemy.  I believe they are ways of focusing the mind, paying attention to acute issues and needs, bringing our full awareness and skill to the job at hand.  They may not feel good but hey serve a purpose.  They are the means to attend to that which is important.  As such they are a flare shot into the air to gain our attention, to illuminate where we should turn our attention.  Unfortunately, they become a gnawing nest of rats when they get out of control.

Since worry and fear are part of life, and even valuable in proper quantities, we need to have a working relationship with them.  To see them as  first steps on the path to courage, wisdom and the answers we seek to help our lives run well, is to honor the light they shine for us. 

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Tennis Lesson #3 of 3 (which have nothing to do with tennis)....

This lesson might also be called "You Never Know Where You Will Meet the Buddha."

The other day I went to hit balls on the backboard at the Larchmont courts after a night of rain, so of course the courts were wet.  I was hopeful they wouldn't be TOO wet and I could do a little hitting.  There are two opposing backboard courts with a large cement wall separating them, so I picked the side that had already gotten some morning sun, and without too much difficulty, began hitting despite the damp court.

Presently an elderly Asian gentleman came walking by, the only other person  at the courts so far that morning.  We nodded at one another as he passed.  Occasionally I hit too high, and a few of the balls sailed over the wall into the other backboard, so I paused for a moment to go collect them.

This man, who looked almost exactly like the Dalai Llama was on the other backboard court, but he wasn't hitting tennis balls.  He was sweeping the court itself. And not with a broom.  No, this man had painstakingly collected a handful of dried reeds about a foot long, and was bent over, sweeping away wet leaves with his small, primitive handbroom.  He moved slowly, he was in no hurry.  His tennis racket was still in its case parked in one corner. 

He smiled when he saw me coming to collect the balls (I hoped I hadn't hit him with one).  I watched his unhurried grooming of the cement.  It was a timeless and beautiful image, a man happily engaged in a slow and thoughtful task, the kind of thing you almost never see in America. 

I've had some great experiences on tennis courts, but that was the first time I ever met the Buddha there:)

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Tennis Lessons: #2 of 3 (which have nothing to do with tennis)

When I was out hitting on the tennis backboard the other day at Larchmont courts, I remembered the last time I was there was about two years ago, when I was playing with a good friend at the time (who I'll call Joe.)  For about 18 months, Joe and I had a blast on the tennis court.  We played a whacky no rules game, but during that time we both got to be pretty good hitters.  About twice a week, one of us would call the other and say "how about tennis today?" and off we'd go.  Of course I did not know the last time I played there with him would BE the last time.  Sometimes we know when "last times" are happening, and sometimes we don't.

Shortly after that last game, Joe had what appeared to be a minor bicycle accident.  Joe was an avid bicyclist around town, and often took great chances in traffic.  I was convinced he and an SUV were at some point going to have an uncompromising meetup on the roads and the SUV would win.  But in the end that's not what happened.  Joe's bike slipped out from under him on a rainslicked street and down he went on one shoulder. 

In an appalling devolution of events, he went to the ER, insisting something was broken in his shoulder.  Xrays were taken, no bones were declared broken, and they sent him home.  But a bone was broken deep in the shoulder, and eventually surgery followed after a long muddle trying to heal it as it was with the undiscovered break.  Not just one surgery, but THREE.  Each surgery was followed by a length recovery and prolonged physical therapy, not to mention enormous pain.  Each recovery faltered and new surgery was scheduled.  It was a dreadful "Groundhog Day" experience for him and his friends who had to watch him go through it.

During this time, personality differences with his friends began to develop, and he and I were not able to maintain our friendship.  It was a sad day when I saw our friendship end, and yet I knew it was inevitable.  No more friendship, no more tennis.

Which brings me back to the main point.  The mindfulness movement ever struggles to teach us to live in the moment, appreciate the moment, savor the moment as though it would never happen again. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.  But had I known our last tennis game was the last, I would have savored it more.

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Tennis Lessons: #1 (of 3)...which have nothing to do with tennis....

There are days when the Universe decides to  hand you a great big diamond  just because it loves you and wants you to have it.  Often these come when you need them most.

Today I was going to the tennis courts when I ran into someone I hadn't seen in five years.  We chatted and then he told me what he remembered most about our time together.  It was the sweetest, most unexpected, most complimentary thing in the world, something I would never have guessed he thought about me.  

The courts were too wet to play, so we each left, but I will carry that delightful remark for a very long time.

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