The Dictator -- The Goofball Actually Made a Pertinent Satire????

Please. Admit it. Sasha Baron Cohen doesn’t appeal to everyone.  He’s a horrible, insensitive, boor that survives because he’s so good at being a horrible, insensitive, boor!!!  He’s also funny.  Ok! He’s FUNNY.  Don’t make me say it again. Like a terrible car accident, you can’t look away from those hairy legs.....all the way up to his bulging skivvies.  This time, he’s portraying a Middle Eastern dictator with too much money, no common sense, and a true superiority complex.  Now, who in the world would he be mimicking?  My rating;  $6.50 (1-10.).

Admiral General Aladeen governs a small country called Wadiyah.  Aladeen was born with a big, bushy beard....on his face and between his legs.  His mother died in childbirth....because the guard smothered her with a pillow.  His father, the Dictator, raised him surrounded by buxom women who inappropriately stimulated and waited on him all his life.  So, it can be no surprise that he grew up thinking he was a demi-god walking around in obnoxious outfits with five armed guards always in attendance.

Besides the hilarious schticks all through the movie, there is a plot.  You might recognize a similar story in ‘The Prince and the Pauper’.  He goes to New York to address the United Nations riding his camel through city streets lined with booing and hissing crowds.  He gets kidnapped by his own security boss, played by John C. Reilly.  The kidnapper was paid by Aladeen’s right-hand man, Tamir (Ben Kinsgley).  Aladeen loses his beard during “torture” by his kidnapper shortly before escaping into the city......where no one recognizes him no matter what he says or does.

Tamir’s story is the jealous man behind the scenes.  He hand picks a “body double”(Cohen again, of course) to play a version of Aladeen who he can manipulate into signing Wadiyah into a democracy.  Then, the fake Aladeen becomes the puppet leader while Tamir gets to run the country and line his pockets with the money from selling oil leases.  Meanwhile, the real Aladeen experiences New York like a homeless tourist.  Anna Faris plays the organic grocer, Zoey, who picks Aladeen up and takes him home.  Zoey takes the brunt of much of the anti-feminist jokes...he grabs her chest to hold on riding her Vespa.  She says, ‘You’ve grabbed my breasts!‘  He replies, ‘I thought you were a boy.‘  

Between attempts to get back into the U.N., we get to watch Aladeen’s reactions to New York and his journey to finding love with a peasant.   

So, the best character in the movie turns out not to be Aladeen but the nuclear scientist, Nadal (Jason Mantzoukas - ‘Parks and Recreation’/‘The League’), gets all the good jokes.  His first run in with Aladeen is in development of their first nuclear warhead.  They disagree on the bomb having a pointed top or blunted one.  Nadal points out that Aladeen has been watching too many cartoons.  His description is too funny.  With a small “Phwt” sound and finger across the neck, Aladeen has Nadal removed for execution.  He does that to any and everyone who confronts him for any reason.  Don’t worry, he finds all his victims in New York at the ‘I Hate Aladeen’ Bar and Grill.  

As in all Sasha Baron Cohen films, there’s never more than two minutes without some joke or another.  Anna Faris holds her own.  I loved the delivery of the baby in the organic market (Kathryn Hahn - ‘Parks and Recreation’/‘Crossing Jordan’) with camera views from inside the womb......where Aladeen drops his phone.....’Is my vagina ringing?’, she asks.  

The best monologue ever comes when Aladeen addresses the U.N.  He goes on and on about all the benefits of a dictatorship.....that sound suspiciously like the current political state in our country.  

There are plenty of star cameos -- mostly those who slept with Aladeen for money.  He has an entire wall of polaroid souvenirs.  

Joining Cohen in writing this political satire were David Mandel, Jeff Schaffer, and Alec Berg.  All have written together before (‘Eurotrip’/‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’/‘The Cat in the Hat’).  Jeff Schaffer was also a contributing writer with Cohen and others on ‘Bruno’.

‘The Dictator’ is rated ‘R’ and runs just under 90 minutes. Classic Cohen with more intelligent wit, thankfully, but it’s still an acquired taste.......I’m still adjusting.  No kids below middle school, please.  Teens will love it.  

 

 

 

Battleship -- U.S. Navy Fleet Doesn’t Play When Invaders Threaten

Just watching the commercials for Battleship, I knew I wanted to see it.  It looked like there was some connection with the Transformers -- there’s really not.  Also, the connection with ‘Battleship’, the board game, comes only during one segment of the film and is done in such a cool way that I will NOT tell you any more about it.  This ‘Battleship’ is so full of great heroes and amazing special effects, it should nudge ‘The Avengers’ right out of top spot this weekend......especially in this Navy town.  My rating: $7.50 (1.-10.).

Fresh off the Disney alien adventure, ‘John Carter’, very handsome Taylor Kitsch returns as Alex Hopper, younger brother of Commander Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgard - ‘True Blood’/‘Straw Dogs’), proud member of the U.S. Navy.  Where Stone is all responsibility and honor, Alex is the bad boy who attracts women and trouble. 

Brooklyn Decker (‘Just Go With It’/‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’) plays, Samantha Shane, beautiful, blonde daughter of Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson), who walks into his favorite bar one night. That moment will change Alex forever.  Alex goofs up trying to impress her, ends up in the Navy with his brother to stay out of jail, and, hopefully, to help the lost boy become a man.

It’s a little cheesy that the timeline jumps forward a couple of years and Alex is already a Lieutenant Commander trying to get his nerve up to ask marriage permission from Samantha’s imposing father.  He looks GOOD in that uniform but, he’s still a nitwit with testosterone clouding his judgement.  How did he get to be an officer without more discipline?  I guess we assume his brother helped.  Samantha is no slouch.  She’s a Physical Therapist at the local VA hospital housing many amputees from the Middle East war.  

Meanwhile, the nerdy brains (and they picked the nerdiest guys to play these parts!) like Dr. Nogrady (Adam Godley - the Vicar in ‘Nanny McPhee’) have built a communications station on Oahu that will send messages out to a planet in another solar system that seems to have a similar atmosphere as Earth.  Do they have any idea what to do if they get an answer????  One very nervous scientist says it best, ‘It’s going to be like the Conquistadors and the Mayans......and we’re the Mayans.’  

The main story takes off during some big Naval war games where multiple countries compete with each other.  But first, they compete on the soccer field.  That’s where we see Alex lose to Captain Yugi Nagata (Tadanobu Asano - ‘Thor’) because he reacts to the Japanese man’s verbal goading instead of keeping his cool.  Japanese audiences will love their flattering portrayal in ‘Battleship’ as the story goes on. 

When the answer comes from space, we get a REAL response from all the scientist on Oahu and D.C.  They all stand around looking at each other like its the other guy’s fault that they have no idea what to do.  The special effects start when aliens arrive.  I have to say that the alien ships were well-imagined.  I was impressed with the look of the aliens, especially their ‘Earth’-suits.  I found it silly (although, I see how it cuts to the point quicker) that an alien feels the need to do the Vulcan mind meld with Alex.  He sees the destruction of the world in a few seconds, similar to ‘Independence Day’, except we see what Alex sees.  His response?  ‘I have a bad feeling about this.  Like we’re gonna need a new planet.’  OK.  It works in context, folks 

Rihanna plays a weapons Petty Officer.  For her first role, she makes me want to see more of her on the big screen.  Peter MacNicol (Dr. Stark on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’) plays the Secretary of Defense to whom Neeson gets to say, ‘I’m not sending another pilot to his death against that force field.  I’ll send another plane up when you get your a-- down here in the co-pilot seat!!’  A big whoop went up from the audience at that!  I think I was one of them. 

The real COL Gregory D. Gadson plays Lt Colonel Mick Canales, a former golden gloves winner who has lost both legs in the war.  He and Samantha take a walk into the mountains next to the hospital on his artificial legs to improve his depression and hopelessness.  Like a good soldier and man, he overcomes his own problems when the aliens hit the fan.  The man plays the part so well because he really lost his legs.  (I found information from the Army’s Warrior Transition Command that tells more about this true hero at the end of this review.)

New Zealand star, John Tui (‘Power Rangers’ 2005/6, ‘Go Girls’) plays Chief Petty ‘The Beast’ Lynch, who has to push Alex the boy into Alex the Captain who saves the world. I liked him -- can we see more of him in the future??   

The best part of ‘Battleship’ is that director Peter Berg (‘Friday Night Lights’/‘Hancock’/‘The Rundown’) gives more than a nod to all the men and women who work together as a mighty force against all enemies, even alien ones.  It’s always a great movie that can make the audience cheer for the underdog as he or she becomes a hero.  ‘Battleship’ shows that nobody becomes a hero alone and what a great Navy we have.  As I said before, the Japanese will be proud of the actors who represent their Naval best, also.          

My favorite part of all is when they have to recommission the U.S.S. Missouri (the west coast version of our own U.S.S. Wisconsin) into service with the help of its remaining REAL crewmembers!! It was so great!! 

Writing brothers Erich and Jon Hoeber created this action whirlwind.  They have talent for getting the best story out of large groups -- they also wrote ‘RED’, and it’s upcoming sequel, where all the “older” spies (Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren) kick butt. They cut their teeth on their first screenplay, ‘Whiteout’, with Kate Beckinsale.  

‘Battleship’ is rated ‘PG-13’ and runs about 2 hours 10 minutes.  Small kids who don’t like loud noises shouldn’t come.  Otherwise, kids see as much violence and things being blown up on TV everyday.  Looking past the goofy parts that pepper the screenplay, it’s a wonderful story of human resilience, bravery, and how great is our military.

 

Warrior Transition website:

http://wtc.army.mil/about_us/command_staff.html

 

COL Gregory D. Gadson

Director, U.S. Army Wounded Warrior Program (AW2)

COL Gregory D. Gadson currently serves as the Director of the U.S. Army Wounded Warrior Program (AW2). A highly-decorated military officer, COL Gadson has served in the U.S. Army for more than 20 years as a field artillery officer. He has served in every major conflict of the last two decades, including Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm (Kuwait), Operation Joint Forge (Bosnia-Herzegovina), Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan), and Operation Iraqi Freedom (Iraq), where he commanded a new unit as part of the surge to secure Baghdad in 2007.

During his service in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2007,COL Gadson was severely injured by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED), resulting in the amputation of both legs above the knee and severe damage to his right arm. COL Gadson emphasizes that his injuries are not the important part of his story; instead, he now focuses on his accomplishments since the incident.

COL Gadson’s awards include 3 Bronze Star Medals, a Purple Heart, Meritorious Service Medal (3 OLC), Army Commendation Medal (3 OLC), Army Achievement Medal (2 OLC), National Defense Service Medal (2 OLC), Southwest Asia Service Medal with 2 Bronze Stars, 2 Armed Forces Expeditionary Medals, Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal, Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, the Saudi Arabian Liberation Medal, Kuwaiti Liberation Medal, Afghanistan Campaign Medal, and the Iraq Campaign Medal. He is also authorized to wear the Combat Action Badge and the Master Parachutist Badge.

A 1989 graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, COL Gadson holds Masters Degrees in Information Systems and Policy Management from Webster University. In 2010, he was an Army War College Fellow at the Institute of World Politics in Washington, D.C. He is also a graduate of the Command and General Staff College and the Field Artillery Officers Advanced Course.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel -- Life After Retirement Can Be Golden

A whole generation of excellent actors are really old now.  But, do they quit?  No, they get together for a movie about retirement in India where the cost of living makes retirement affordable.  Mix the upbeat flair of Bollywood and a collection of interesting British elders to get a warm, funny, and outrageous look at what life can bring after retirement.  My rating:  $8.00 (1.-10.). 

Adapted from the novel of the same name by Deborah Moggach (talented movie/TV writer -‘Pride and Prejudice’ 2005), the screenplay by Oliver Parker (‘Imagine Me & You’) keeps the cast small so the character development is enriched.  A variety of elders, all retiring at the same time, notice an ad in the paper for The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a retirement community in India.  

Dame Judi Dench plays faithful wife and mother, Evelyn Greenspade, who finds herself in poverty after her husband dies leaving a ton of debt.  Everything she counted on for retirement goes to pay his debts. She’s never worked outside the home and hubby took care of all the bills.   Angry, hurt, and outraged, Evelyn quickly determines she won’t be a victim. 

There’s this great scene early on that follows her through the movie where Evelyn is trying to take care of her husband’s phone contract through a call center in........INDIA!!  

“I need to cancel this phone account, please.  My husband is dead.”

“I’m sorry, we cannot speak with you about your husband’s account without his permission, Madam.  Your name is not on the account.” 

“I’m trying to tell you, my husband is dead.”

“I am truly sorry but I cannot speak with you about the account without his permission.” 

Next, there’s the retiring Judge Dashwood (Tom Wilkinson - ‘The Green Hornet’/‘Michael Clayton’) who is openly but not obviously gay.  He’s distinguished and commands respect which leads to an embarrassing attraction for Jean Ainslie (Penelope Wilton - ‘Downton Abbey’), the unhappy and shrewish wife of Douglas (Bill Nighy - ‘Love Actually’/‘Underworld’), who is a genuinely friendly man.  Jean has a talent for making anyone in the same room miserable --- with a smile.  The Judge has a very personal reason for being in India.

My favorite character was Madge Hardcastle played by the spiritually young and sexy, Celia Imrie (‘Bridget Jones’ - I and II/‘Imagine Me &You’).  She’s looking for a 3rd or 4th husband -- outrageous, uninhibited, and hilarious.  Her male counterpart is Norman Cousins (Ronald Pickup - ‘Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time’, King Sharaman).  Norman is so desperate to find female companionship, he keeps scaring them all away.  His first scene is at a speed dating event where’s he’s trying to pass himself off as 40-something -- he’s 72.  

At the other end of the spectrum, Maggie Smith (‘Professor McGonagall from ‘Harry Potter’) plays Muriel Donnelly, such a sour spinster and racist, she must be from the south of somewhere. Our first scene with her is on a gurney in a hospital hallway (paraphrased, of course):

‘Nurse, nurse, I demand attention.  I’ve been here for hours and no one has come to see me.’

‘You have been seen.  There’s your doctor....’, pointing down the hall to black doctor washing his hands at a large sink.

Muriel replies matter-of-factly, ‘That monkey? He can wash all day and not wash that color off!’

When she demands a “British” doctor, the nurse brings her a “British” doctor......of Indian descent!! Maggie Smith’s deadpan expression was priceless.  

So, Muriel’s hip needs to be replaced.  In England, you wait in line, maybe for years.  They have a program that is much faster and less expensive --- you let the doctors in India get some practice. She spends the movie in a wheelchair.  You can imagine her discomfort surrounded by “dark” people in a primitive environment. Sometimes, loneliness morphs good people into bad places -- her journey is inspiring.

On the Indian side is the manager of the family-owned Marigold Hotel, Sonny Kapoor played with great energy by Dev Patel (‘Slumdog Millionaire’/‘The Last Airbender’).  Sonny radiates positive energy even when his snooty mother (played by the beautiful, Indian actress, Lillete Dubey) constantly insults him at every turn.  Bollywood star, Tena Desae, plays Sonny’s love, Sunaina.  Both have to fight family plans to marry them elsewhere.  My favorite scene is Sunaina secretly coming to Sonny’s bed naked late one night.  Except, it’s Madge’s bed!!  Such a funny scene!! 

There’s a little over 2 hours of wonderful interaction and growth of everyone within the Marigold Hotel. It’s never depressing or draggy.  John Madden (‘The Debt’/‘Shakespeare in Love’/‘Killshot’/‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’) directed this gem. It’s rated ‘PG-13’.  

I know that no matter what I say, this movie will probably draw a stratified audience.  If you EVER take the time to see it in theaters or, later, on DVD or TV, you won’t be sorry.  Kids will be bored, however, leave’em home.  ENJOY!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ROCK OF AGES - SOUNDTRACK INFO NOW AVAILABLE

PRE-ORDER ROCK OF AGES: ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK MAY 15

Instant Free Download of “Pour Some Sugar On Me” Performed by Tom Cruise Included with All Album Pre-Orders on iTunes

Also Set for Release on May 15, 2012 - Music Video for “Anyway You Want It” Performed by Mary J. Blige and Julianne Hough Featuring the “Rock of Ages” Cast in Never-Before-Seen Clips from the Film 

LOS ANGELES, CA, MAY 15, 2012 –WaterTower Music is getting ready to rock on May 15, when the highly anticipated ROCK OF AGES: ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK becomes available for pre-order. And on iTunes, each soundtrack pre-order will come with an instant download of the song “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” as performed by Tom Cruise in the film. The track was mixed by Mike Shipley, who mixed the original version of the song.

Also on May 15 Vevo.com will debut the music video for “Anyway You Want It,” performed by Mary J. Blige, Constantine Maroulis and Julianne Hough; it features the movie cast and exclusive never-before-seen clips from the film. The ROCK OF AGES: ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK will be released in its entirety June 5, 2012 and features hits from iconic rockers Def Leppard, Foreigner, Journey, Poison and others—reinvigorated for the film by a stellar cast including Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman, and Mary J. Blige, with Alec Baldwin, and Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx. Directed by Adam Shankman (Hairspray), New Line Cinema’s Rock of Ages is the film adaptation of the smash hit, five-time Tony Award-nominated Broadway musical which tells the story of small town girl Sherrie and city boy Drew, who meet on the Sunset Strip while pursuing their Hollywood dreams. Executive Music Producer Adam Anders (Glee) helps tell the rock ‘n’ roll romance through cast versions of heart-pounding hits that defined a generation.

The ROCK OF AGES: ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK features Tom Cruise as the larger-than-life, arena-rocking champ “Stacee Jaxx,” belting out Bon Jovi’s classic “Wanted Dead or Alive,” Def Leppard’s hit “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” and Guns ‘N Roses anthem “Paradise City.” Cruise also duets with Malin Akerman on Foreigner’s power ballad “I Want To Know What Love Is,” and shares the mic with Julianne Hough on The Scorpions’ “Rock You Like A Hurricane.”

The album also features an extraordinary medley of Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian,” David Lee Roth’s “Just Like Paradise,” and Poison’s “Nothin’ But A Good Time,” which features Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin.

Also echoing through the soundtrack are mash-ups of songs that ruled the airwaves in the `80s, including Foreigner’s “Juke Box Hero” / Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock ‘N Roll”; Extreme’s “More Than Words” / Warrant’s “Heaven”; Pat Benatar’s “Shadows Of The Night” / Quarterflash’s “Harden My Heart”; and Starship’s “We Built This City” woven into Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” all performed by the film’s cast.  

The full track list for the album is as follows:

1. "Paradise City" - Tom Cruise

2.. "Sister Christian" / "Just Like Paradise" / "Nothin’ But A Good Time" - Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin

3. "Juke Box Hero" / "I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll" - Diego Boneta, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Julianne Hough

4. "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" - Catherine Zeta-Jones

5. "Waiting For A Girl Like You" - Diego Boneta, Julianne Hough

6. "More Than Words" / "Heaven" - Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta

7. "Wanted Dead Or Alive" - Tom Cruise, Julianne Hough

8. "I Want To Know What Love Is" - Tom Cruise, Malin Akerman

9. "I Wanna Rock" - Diego Boneta

10. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" - Tom Cruise

11. "Harden My Heart" - Julianne Hough, Mary J. Blige

12. "Shadows of the Night" / "Harden My Heart" - Mary J. Blige, Julianne Hough

13. "Here I Go Again" - Diego Boneta, Paul Giamatti, Julianne Hough, Mary J. Blige, Tom Cruise,

14. "Can’t Fight This Feeling" - Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin

15. "Any Way You Want It" - Mary J. Blige, Constantine Maroulis, Julianne Hough

16. "Undercover Love" - Diego Boneta

17. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" - Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Tom Cruise, Mary J. Blige

18. "Rock You Like A Hurricane" - Julianne Hough, Tom Cruise

19. "We Built This City" / "We’re Not Gonna Take It" - Russell Brand / Catherine Zeta-Jones

20. "Don’t Stop Believin’"- Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Mary J. Blige

New Line Cinema’s Rock of Ages comes to the big screen on June 15, 2012, distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. The movie musical stars Julianne Hough (Burlesque), with actor/singer Diego Boneta in his feature film debut, Russell Brand (Arthur), Oscar® nominee Paul Giamatti (Cinderella Man), Academy Award® winner Catherine Zeta-Jones (Chicago), Malin Akerman (The Proposal), and R&B queen Mary J. Blige, with Oscar® nominees Alec Baldwin (The Cooler, TV’s 30 Rock) and Tom Cruise (Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Magnolia, Jerry Maguire). Shankman directed Rock of Ages from a screenplay by Justin Theroux and Chris D’Arienzo and Allan Loeb, based on D’Arienzo’s musical of the same name. Adam Anders and Peer Astrom composed the original score and produced the songs featured in the film. Rock of Ages is produced by Matthew Weaver, Scott Prisand, Carl Levin, Tobey Maguire, Garrett Grant and Jennifer Gibgot, with Toby Emmerich, Richard Brener, Michael Disco, Samuel J. Brown, Hillary Butorac Weaver, Janet Billig Rich, Shankman and D’Arienzo serving as executive producers.

To learn more about the film and soundtrack visit www.rockofagesmovie.com  

 

 

Dark Shadows -- The Darkest Shadows Here Lie Around Johnny Depp’s Eyes!!

 

I was a little kid when the real ‘Dark Shadows’ came on at 3 or 4pm every weekday starting with the eerie music, panning in on the gothic manor house on the cliff, crashing water on the rocks below.  It wasn’t a comedy back then.  Somehow, they took many of the old screen stars whose shine had tarnished and remade them into creepy soap opera stars.  I watched it even when it moved to late night.  

Tim Burton’s ‘Dark Shadows’ reintroduces the cursed Collins family and its persistent vampire, Barnabas.  Except, Mr. Burton just can’t make a scary horror movie.  He has this underlying dark humor that pervades all his scripts.  Along with best pal, Johnny Depp, the only ones with a straight face are the actors.  My rating: $6.50 (1.-10.).

The story’s foundation is told totally before the opening credits are even run.  In the late 1700’s, the Collins family arrived in Maine to establish what would become the largest and most profitable fishing enterprise of the era.  Barnabas grew up happily watching his family and town flourish.  But, as most handsome young men, he accepts the “love” of the housekeeper’s daughter, Angelique (Eva Green - ‘Casino Royale’), who happens to be a very jealous witch.  Depp’s first scene as the grown Barnabas really looks like he’s no more than 20 years or so.  Great makeup and/or camera work, I must say. 

Once she is dumped for the more socially acceptable, Josette, played by the new Australian beauty, Bella Heathcote (‘In Time’), Angelique pulls out all her most evil potions. She makes Snow White’s stepmom seem nurturing. If she’s not happy, no one is going to be happy.  Josette marches over a cliff and Barnabas tries to follow only to realize Angelique has turned him into a vampire.  She manipulates the townsfolk to bury him bound in iron, (not explained, we vampire experts just have to know iron binds vampires), for over 200 years.  

Sound like I’ve told you a lot of the story?  Nope, this is what we see even before the opening credits.

All the real fun starts when a group of too curious construction workers dig up his coffin in 1972 and quickly become replenishment for the “thirsty” vampire.  This is pure Burton....surprising gore, not sure if it’s going to be a joke....then, it’s not. Most of the humor thereafter is either physical or attributable to a deadpan Depp. Can you really be afraid of Johnny Depp?  Even with blood all over, he’s adorable.  

Michelle Pfeiffer plays Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, the matriarch of the family who is trying to keep from losing everything. Their business has been run into the ground by Angelique, still alive, running a successful fishing business, and still holding a grudge.  Pfeiffer’s hair is beautiful and she wears some great couture outfits (which she looks amazing in at 54 years-old). But, she gets few funny lines and is more Depp’s straight-man. Her character is seriously nothing like the original TV Elizabeth. 

Bella Heathcote has a modern alter-ego, Maggie Evans.  She randomly changes her name to Victoria Winters on the way to apply for the governess position at Collinwood (the family home). I loved her fragile appearance but she looks totally different than Josette.  Why does she change her name?  What purpose does her character serve?  You don’t find out till the end.  By then, it’s almost an anti-climax.   

Chloe Grace Moretz, you might remember as the vampire-girl in ‘Let Me In’ last year, plays the Elizabeth’s rebellious daughter, Carolyn, whose face might crack if she smiled.  Son, David (Gulliver McGrath - ‘Hugo’) sees and speaks to his dead mother.  Victoria is warned that David is strange. They hired a psychiatrist to treat him....who is still living there.   

Jonny Lee Miller (‘Eli Stone’) plays cousin, Roger Collins, the morally bankrupt family member.  In the TV series, he was much more devious.  The modern Roger lurks around looking for loot and eats with the family; otherwise, he’s useless. 

The two best satellite characters are Jackie Earle Haley and Burton’s wife, Helena Bonham Carter (‘Harry Potter’).  Haley plays Willie Loomis, the degenerate groundskeeper who becomes Barnabas’ slave.  Carter plays the alcoholic, redheaded, psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman.  These two manage to be funny around Johnny Depp and not be overshadowed by him.   

Most of the movie involves Barnabas being faced with modern things that require, first, astonishment, then a humorous one-liner.  He takes advice from a group of hippies smoking pot....before he announces, “thank you, I must kill you all now”.  We hear the screams from afar.  He and Angelique have several love/hate scenes, not the least of which is the final scene.  

Regretfully, the one-liners and Barnabas’ constantly precise speech become a little draggy in the middle -- like Burton told him to freeze and moved him to a new set.  There’s actually a scene where Carolyn points this out to him.....and us, like we didn’t already notice.  Speaking of sets, the house was beautiful.  Run down at first, Barnabas uncovers the family’s hidden fortune and they renovate.  

Dan Curtis originated the ‘Dark Shadows’ series (1966-1971).  It was meant to be scary....not funny.  The modern version was formulated by Seth Grahame-Smith (‘The Hard Times of RJ Berger’) and John August (‘Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle’). Grahame-Smith also wrote the screenplay and directed. 

‘Dark Shadows’ is rated ‘PG-13’ and runs about 2 hours.  Oldsters like me, who remember the original, will get more out of the gags.  The seventy’s music score is fun and nostalgic.  And, I’ll admit there were a couple of “goosebump” scenes for me. Overall, I did enjoy this movie.  Kids may like the physical comedy. I wouldn’t take small kids, however, they’ll be bored and whine you to death.  They don’t need to see stuff like a paranormal sex scene, either. 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Marvel’s The Avengers -- Marvel-ous Comic Book Heroes Will Destroy This Weekend’s Box Office Competition

Believe me, ‘The Avengers’ has the best coordination of comic heroes in history.  And, Paramount Studios did the smartest thing ever.  They managed to get nearly all the original human alter-egos to make it all the more real and exciting.  I saw it in IMAX 3-D.  Usually, I can take or leave most 3-D productions.  The caliber of 3D in ‘The Avengers’ took my breath away from the opening credits.  Amazing just doesn’t cut it to describe how much I loved this movie.  My rating:  $9.00 (1.-10.).

For superheroes to be needed, they must rally around a common enemy.  There are no really adequate bad guys I can think of who would warrant five major heroes in the same movie.  To make it worth all the hoopla, we get demi-god, Thor’s half-brother, Loki (handsome Tom Hiddleston - ‘Midnight in Paris’/‘War Horse’), whose soul is black with jealousy and self-pity, in league with an alien race that wants Earth.  However, Loki certainly keeps all of us, in and out of the movie, wondering what his plan is for a long time.  

The secret government agency, S.H.I.E.L.D, led by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and governed by the World Security Council (played by Powers Boothe, Jenny Agutter, Arthur Darbinyan, and Donald Lee), protects humanity from all enemies. Thor left behind a cube of infinite power, the Tessaract, that opens a portal to the other side of the universe.  Loki takes it from the bunker where S.H.I.E.L.D is trying to understand it (meaning harness its power) so he can have power to rule the human race.  He takes over Chief Scientist, Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard - ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’) and master-archer hero, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner - ‘The Hurt Locker’), by touching their hearts with his glowing, blue staff.  

One by one, the world’s superheroes are tapped to help save the world.  Iron Man/Tony Stark(Robert Downey, Jr.) has even better technology than in his own movie.  He’s now happily shacking up with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) who is the most understanding, intelligent, business partner and lover a man could want. Stark’s intelligent wit hasn’t dimmed.  Scarlett Johansson plays Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow with more subtle feeling than I ever thought she had in her.  Tied to a chair, she takes out three Russian thugs -- she works it, baby.  

Captain America (Chris Evans) remains the ultimate gentleman soldier.  He’s still trying to adjust to the time warp after seventy years in ice.  Mark Ruffalo (‘Shutter Island’/‘Just Like Heaven’) is the one new addition as Bruce Banner/Hulk.  He’s been in Calcutta doing volunteer work learning to control his rage in the ZEN capital of the world.  He refers to his alter-ego as ‘the other guy’ most of the time. Chris Hemsworth returns as Thor, along with his anvil and lightening......and gorgeous body, eyes, and hair.  

Clark Gregg returns as Agent Coulson who is now Fury’s right-hand man -- a really good agent and good man.  Stan Lee has a cameo. Lou Ferrigno (1970’s Hulk) voices Hulk, who looks impressively like Ruffalo.....in the face!!  Harry Dean Stanton even plays the small part of a security guard who clothes a naked Banner after reverting from Hulk.   Paul Bettany plays, Jarvis, the voice of Iron Man’s suit computer.  

So, along the way to stopping Loki, there are more fights among testosterone-driven superheroes than I expected.  I couldn’t tell if some were real turf wars versus enhanced irritability related to Tessaract side-effects.  They fight in the mountains, forests, plains, and sky.  Ultimately, New York takes another alien attack.  By then, the heroes find a way to unite, perfectly and completely.  The special effects are as spectacular as the heroes who use and cause them.  Even, nasty Loki is fascinating.  

Joss Whedon wrote this magnificent screenplay after formulating the storyline with the writer of ‘Elektra’ and ‘The Incredible Hulk’ movies (2008), Zak Penn. Character originators, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby get credit for their work that makes this all possible.  Whedon also directed.  I am a sincere fan of Josh Whedon’s brand of sci-fi since seeing ‘Serenity’.  He also wrote the hugely popular ‘Firefly’, ‘Angel’, and ‘Dollhouse’ TV series.  He’s inspired here, folks. There’s almost as much wit and laughter as action.  Ever seen an aircraft carrier fly?  Or, become invisible in the air?  

‘The Avengers’ is rated ‘PG-13’ but is a movie that can be enjoyed by every age.  The run time is 2 hours and 20 minutes without trailers that might add 15 or more minutes.  The length may be the only drawback for small kids.  I wondered a couple of times how much farther it could go.  Happily, it turned out to be worth every minute.  

I must say, the Hulk was my favorite part of the latter part of the movie.

If you can afford it at all, IMAX 3-D is so amazing!!  I’m just sayin’......

 

 

  

 

 

Safe -- Little Girl’s Safety Re-Motivates a Deadly Assassin

This review is a no-brainer for Jason Statham fans (ME!).  Anyone who likes a great fight movie and those who appreciate when a reluctant hero comes from behind to vanquish the bad guys will LOVE ‘Safe’.  Writer/director, Boaz Yakin, used all his amazing talent to make a perfect story showcasing Statham at his best.  He’s a man who lives from cage fight to homeless shelter.  He’s been beaten down by thugs, his conscience, and life.  But, an innocent child being hunted by criminals gets his attention and sparks something long buried in him.  Saving her, however, puts him in the middle of a battle between the Russian mob, the Chinese mob, and corrupt police.  My rating:  $8.50 (1.10.).

Pretty, little, Mei (12 year-old native of China, Catherine Chan) is able to point out her teacher’s errors in a complicated equation in front of her class in China.  One should realize that she could have been punished for insolence.  Rather, she is told that a transfer to a special school for geniuses will happen immediately.  Before she can return home, she is kidnapped off the street.  

One of the most recognized Chinese character actors of all times, James Hong (born in Minnesota in 1929!), plays crime boss, Han Jiao. He has big plans for Mei.  His underboss, Quan Chang (Reggie Lee - Sgt. Wu on ‘Grimm’) adopts her and takes her to New York.  She learns their “business” and keeps the “books” in her head....no paper trail. Mei is made to witness all the violence to make her tough.  She also gets smart enough along the way to realize she is expendable when the Russians, the cops, and the Chinese all want her.  They want and need her but won’t hesitate to kill her to keep each other from having her. 

Meanwhile, the Russian mob has taken everything from cage-fighter, Luke Wright (Statham). He lost them a lot of money.  As revenge, they kill his wife and threaten to kill anyone else who he even speaks to in a friendly manner.....and he takes it. We fans know this weepy, wimpy persona can’t last. Yet, he almost commits suicide on the subway platform.....until he see Mei.  Something clicks in Wright at that moment and the real fun in the movie starts.  No holds barred fighting, breaking bones so we hear it, and shooting people (bad guys, of course) point blank.  It’s shortly after this part in the movie that we find out his history and know we will be enjoying the rest of the story immensely. 

On the cops (bad) side would be cop/military character actor, Robert John Burke (‘Law and Order: SVU’/‘Limitless’/‘Brooklyn’s Finest’) as Captain Wolf.  He and his small band of corrupted cops know of Wright but the underlings don’t know that Wright was a top mercenary, assassin before being framed and fired for uncovering corruption years before.  He’s an honest killer.  YES!! Another bunch of dopes for Wright to teach a lesson.  

Chris Sarandon has a cameo as Mayor Tremello, the most corrupt official of all.  His right-hand man is Alex Rosen (Anson Mount -  ‘Hell on Wheels’/‘Straw Dogs’), Wrights former partner -- a corrupt assassin but about equal in skill level to Wright.  

The Russians are led by Emile Docheski (Sandor Tecsy - played a mobster in ‘Did You Hear About the Morgans?’, - passed away last December).  His son, Vassily (Chicago-born, Joseph Sikora - Hans Schroeder on ‘Boardwalk Empire’), is SO mean we know he’s gonna get it good in the end.  

Once Luke Wright comes back to himself and takes on Mei’s safety, there’s non-stop action.  Statham is the perfect bad guy with a heart of gold.  At forty-four years-old, he’s also still a hunk. Watching him fight is a treat.  And, in ‘Safe’, he and his young co-star, Catherine Chan, have a spectacular and believable connection.

I mentioned writer/director Boaz Yakin earlier but I would like to take a second to relay some of his history here. Yakin wrote ‘The Rookie’, ‘Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights’, ‘Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time’ and directed ‘Remember the Titans’, ‘Uptown Girls’, and wrote/directed  ‘Death in Love’.  I don’t think he’s had a dud yet.  It kind of reminds me of the great stuff Luc Besson has done. 

‘Safe’ is rated ‘R’ and runs about 1 hour 35 minutes.  It is NOT for children -- they don’t need to be exposed to such violence or language.  Every other action fan is going to love ‘Safe‘.....just like me.      

 

 

The Five-Year Engagement -- Life Interrupts a Trip to the Alter

Sometimes, there’s a reason couples don’t rush to the alter.  Maybe it’s finances.  Maybe it’s life events.  Sometimes, maybe, they just aren’t as ready as they think.  Tom (Jason Segel) and Violet (Emily Blunt) seem to be the ideal couple.  They both respect each other’s opinions and feelings.  When they argue, it’s more a civilized debate. They should have a perfect marriage.  Life has a different plan, however.  My rating:  $5.75 (1.-10.).

‘The Five-Year Engagement’ is billed as a romantic comedy.......of errors.  The perfect, modern couple with the world at their feet decides to merge.  Tom has potential to be a top sous chef and run an elite restaurant.  Violet is a doctoral fellow in psychology up for a coveted fellowship way across country.  They’re sure everything will work out --- ahh, the faith of those in love.  

Scriptwriters, Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller (‘Gulliver’s Travels’/‘Get Him to the Greek’/‘Yes Man’/‘The Muppets’) made the movie’s comedy around unfortunate and unexpected events that could happen to anyone.  Are we supposed to feel better knowing even “perfect” couples have problems?  I don’t know.  What happens is that we commiserate with their misfortunes more than laugh at them.  People who laugh at the guy who slips and breaks his tailbone might find this funnier than I did.  

So, the funniest thing about ‘Five-Year’ turns out NOT to be Tom and Violet .  The actual side-splitting laughs come from their co-stars. 

Tom’s brother, Alex and Violet’s sister, Suzie, are polar opposites.  Alex (Chris Pratt - ‘Ten Year’/‘Moneyball’) is a chef at the same restaurant but not quite as talented as his brother.  He’s a goofball who regularly pulls pranks and has a beer bottle in hand.  Suzie (Alison Brie - ‘Mad Men’/‘Community’) is a stuck-up airhead. She spends so long crying during her speech at the engagement party that we just want to take a fire hose to her.  Alex drunkenly tries to flirt with Suzie during the party.  She says.....‘This isn’t going to happen’, wagging her finger back and forth.  Next morning, they’re both trying to leave the hotel without anyone noticing.  Apart or together, this movie couple becomes the emotional puddle of laughs for the rest of the film. 

Mimi Kennedy (‘Midnight in Paris’) and David Paymer (‘Bad Teacher’) are Tom’s parents who are quite candid about their intimate lives as a means to talk sense into their son.  THAT was funny -- Tom’s discomfort with his parents’ honesty so made me giggle.  

Brief comedy comes during the skyping between families as they predict the old people’s certain deaths because Tom and Violet are taking too long getting to the alter.  (Grandma’s saying, ‘I’m right here......I’m right here’.....’I can hear you.‘  

Rhys Ifans (‘Anonymous’) plays Violet’s fellowship/research director, Winton Childs, who is in the right place at the right time when the love birds hit the rocks.  Her very competitive co-researchers are Doug (Kevin Hart - ‘Think Like a Man’), Vaneetha (Mindy Kaling - ‘The Office’), and Ming (Randall Park - ‘Dinner for Schmucks’/‘Larry Crowne’) who supply the next greatest number of laughs.  Violet confronts Winton in a room with a one-way mirror, not realizing Vaneetha and Ming are listening on the other side.  Hilarious.     

The commercial trailers show most of Tom and Violet’s funniest scenes.  It’s a movie about a couple dealing with life.  The wedding becomes the non-priority.  She gets her dream job way across country.  He loves her enough to sacrifice everything to be the house-husband in a strange city.  He has to find a life while she thrives in hers.  Their differing paths result in resentment, frustration, and loss of intimacy within the relationship.  The “laughs” become weak and the story sad. There is a “happy ending” but at the very, very, very last minute.  

‘The Five-Year Engagement‘ runs just over 2 hours and is rated ‘R’.  

Nicholas Stoller directed.  

It’s definitely not for kids because of sexual content and language.  The relationship problems weigh the whole thing down.  And, while there are plenty of giggles, chuckles, and a few laughs, you won’t come out feeling uplifted.

 

 

 

 

Think Like a Man -- Hilarious Dating Wisdom from....Steve Harvey??

Most relationship movies deal with partners trying to out-think each other in order to manipulate their futures toward marriage, babies, or simply a commitment to be exclusive.  We watch them make stupid mistakes while we groan and shout, ‘Just tell’em how you feel!!’  The common thread is the inevitable ending where they stay together (or not) as fate has ordained.  ‘Think Like a Man’, modeled after Steve Harvey’s bestselling novel, targets females whose relationships, or lack thereof, are stagnant.  By educating them about how their behavior impacts the personality type of their partner, the fantasy fog gets cleared away and the chess board becomes active again....until the chess pieces check their mates. My rating:  $8.50 (1.-10.).

As you may have noticed, the ‘Man’ cast is mostly African-American.  There are a few white folks.  Now that I’ve stated the obvious, lets face it, this movie could have been cast with any color or nationality.  The script contains hilariously but not so obvious relationship facts that most of us never stop long enough to see.  Who knew Steve Harvey could have been a marriage counselor? 

Using separate couples for four different scenarios, each one is smart, motivated, and (this is the only drawback) gorgeous.  Kevin Hart (‘Death at a Funeral’), in my opinion, has the best part.  He’s the anti-relationship guy in the midst of a divorce --- angry, hurt, with a smart remark at every turn.  He’s the funniest thing in the movie.

The adorable, Meagan Good (‘Californication’/‘Jumping the Broom’), plays Mya, the girl who sleeps with her dates....all her dates.  Chris Brown has a small, recurring part as the “player” who keeps calling to her in passing.....calling her every name but her own.  Friends set her up with, Zeke (Romany Malco - ‘The Good Wife’/’No Ordinary Family’), a self-proclaimed player who sees Mya as his next belt notch.  His problem is she’s trying Harvey’s 90-day rule.

The incomparable, Gabrielle Union (‘Good Deeds’), plays Kristen, a supreme realtor in a relationship with her “best friend” from college, Jeremy (Jerry Ferrara - ‘Seven Days in Utopia’), who decorates their home with action figures and the couch from college.  When his latest jewelry is a pair of diamond earrings instead of engagement ring, she begins to think.

Forty-one year-old Regina Hall (Deputy D.A. Price on ‘Law and Order: LA’) plays, Candice, a single mother fed up with insincere men. Her diamond in the rough is momma’s boy, Michael (Terrence Jenkins - ‘Stomp the Yard 2: Homecoming’/‘The Game’).  Mom (Jenifer Lewis - ‘‘Meet the Browns’/‘Not Easily Broken’) still cooks every Sunday, does his laundry, and takes priority over all others.  That doesn’t go over well with potential girlfriends.  Michael recognizes new priorities when Candice’s young son touches his heart.

My favorite relationship involves Lauren (Taraji P. Henson - ‘I Can Do Bad All by Myself’), the youngest Vice-President of Accounting for a Fortune 500 company.  Independent.  High class. Sarcastic. Untrusting. Alone.  She’s determined not to lower her standards and get involved with any man beneath her.  Gorgeous, blue-eyed, Michael Ealy (‘Underworld: Awakening’/new series ‘Common Law’) plays Dominic, the guy who changes his life’s dream every couple of years.  His latest is to be a chef.  He’s talented but lacks the confidence to stop waiting tables and open his own place.  Nevertheless, he takes a car he is valeting to follow Lauren as she leaves his restaurant.  She assumes the car is his and accepts a date.  Theirs is the most compelling story since Lauren finds she’s more shallow than she herself thought and Dominic finds he isn’t.  

The guys are hilariously bamboozled until they find out about the book and plan to turn the tables.  Sometimes, turn about may be fair play but doesn’t make for a happy ending.  They, also, finally takes some lessons from happily and faithfully married friend, Bennett (Gary Owen - Zach on ‘House of Payne’).  They make fun of him but he gets the last laugh.  

Along the way, Cedric follows along reminding all that he’s free of all the drama....except he cries in the bathroom when no one is looking.  The funniest scenes are on the basketball court, especially when Kobe Bryant and NBA pals ask to use the court.   Predictably, he tries to be tough till he sees seven people over six and a half feet tall behind him.  HINT:  Stay after the end of the movie to see more basketball hijinks.  

Steve Harvey makes a few cameo appearances on TV talk shows and from the TV narrating some excerpts that the characters see or experience.  The whole title of his book is ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’.  ‘Friends with Benefits’ co-writers, Keith Merryman and David A. Newman adapted the book into this well-rounded film.    

Tim Story (‘Barbershop’/the ‘Fantastic 4’ movies) directed.  The rating is ‘PG-13’ and the run time is just over 2 hours.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Lucky One -- Iraqi War Veteran Follows a Photo to His Soulmate in Louisiana

Nicholas Sparks, the author who kindles romances all over Americana, has struck again. He’s made use of lonely war veterans in ‘Dear John’, ‘The Last Song’ and, now, in ‘The Lucky One’.   Anyone familiar with Nicholas Sparks also knows that someone dies at the end of every book.  You can take bets on who it will be and watch the story play out with angst.  ‘The Lucky One’ follows the same formula.  For me, the two stars, Zac Efron and Taylor Schilling, had to work for their romantic chemistry -- which makes their long journey to a relationship a long trip.  My rating:  $6.00 (1.-10.).  

The war scenes are brief, at the very start of the film, and at night.  Much of it through night-vision goggles adding to the confusion (ours and theirs) during tense home raids in Iraq.  Residents, stuffed in rooms like sardines, suddenly run chaotically as the wobbly night cameras capture the room to room search, heavy breathing, staccato conversation.  ‘Clear’.....‘Clear’, echos from all directions.  There’s some shooting and a few American losses during an ambush.  Then, it’s the next day.   

You could tell Zac Efron had some military training by the way he held his rifle and moved in formation....impressive. Still, the scene was manipulated so he wouldn’t have to do it for too long.  What matters is that Efron just keeps getting hotter no matter what character he plays lately (but I’m old and not supposed to notice --- my daughter made gagging noises).  He’s going to draw the female audiences as much as the romance itself. 

The morning after the raid, Logan (Efron) spots a shiny object across the rubble that is a haunting photo of an ethereal woman -- ‘Be Safe’ written next to a little heart on the back.  He pockets it and turns as a bomb lands where he had been sitting a minute before.  He soon survives the firebombing of his jeep two seconds after his buddy remarks how the photo is his lucky charm.  That belief follows him back home where he WALKS with his adorable german shepherd from Colorado to Louisiana to find his “guardian angel’.

 

That angel turns out to be Beth (Schilling).  She’s a single mom working the family dog kennel business.  She lives with her mom, Ellie (Blythe Danner), after the death of her brother in the war and her mother’s stroke.  Ten year-old Riley Thomas Stewart plays the adorable 8 year-old son, Ben.  He’s being raised by his sensitive mom with visitation to his dad, Keith (Jay R. Ferguson - ‘Mad Men’), a cop and bully.  He’s earned his bad attitude from his very critical dad, Judge Clayton (Adam LeFevre - ‘Fair Game’).  Keith show glimmers of nice overshadowed by pure meanness.  

An assumption that Logan has post-traumatic stress syndrome comes from his flat emotional presence, monotone voice, and the fact he walked from Colorado to Louisiana because, ‘I like to walk’.  Beth picks up on it and tries to get rid of him...particularly because he’s a Marine ---- same as her dead brother.  Ellie hires him anyway.  She sees that he needs help, they need a man around, and he’s a possible romantic interest for her daughter who has isolated herself since her divorce.

OK.  This is the first fifteen or twenty minutes of a 1 hour 45 minute movie.  The final ending takes ten minutes.  That leaves about 70 minutes of Logan earning her trust through bonding with Ben. It takes forever for her to entertain the idea of him as a boyfriend.  Their first kiss takes half the movie.  They start a relationship. Keith threatens and she pulls back.  They start again and Keith tells her some bull about Logan knowing what happened to her brother and being a stalker.....AND she believes him!  All along, Logan passively accepts her emotional highs and lows, never pushing, always accepting, plodding along.  He doesn’t smile till way into the movie, either.

There are a couple of semi-sex scenes with steamy undressing, deep gazes, and humor.  Nicholas Sparks keeps his sex steamy but clean, mind you, so the scenes are cut and paste. Foreplay, undress, kisses, quick indications of successful mating, cuddling, and we’re done.  The ‘PG-13’ rating tells you what to expect. Zac Efron certainly deserves kudos for the body sculpting we get to enjoy during these scenes.  Schilling will thrill the guys, I guess.  Turn about is fair play.  They simply did nothing together to generate much heat for me. I have no doubt more romantic-types will see what they want to see. 

Another problem (for me) is Zac Efron, at 25 years of age, still looking so young. Beard, pecks, and shoulders out to there, but, his face has no wear and tear yet.  He makes Taylor Schilling, at 28 years-old, look too old to play his lover.  Does that make sense?  Hope so, cuz he looks like a teen dating his teacher.  I also realize Beth has to be old enough to be divorced with an eight year-old, but.....

You might remember Schilling in her temporary TV series, ‘Mercy’.  She played a gritty nurse-veteran having trouble fitting back into her old life.  I liked it.  I liked her in the part. Others didn’t or it would still be on. I didn’t prefer her in ‘The Lucky One’.  

The ending is good......after “the death”.  You’ll have to see the movie to form your own opinion and see who’s the UN-lucky one.    

Will Fetters wrote the screenplay from Sparks’ novel.  His last screenplay was the fairly obscure romance, ‘Remember Me’, with Robert Pattinson.  Scott Hicks directed.  Hicks directed ‘No Reservations’ about two opposite-type chefs who find love together.  ‘The Lucky One’ has a similar pacing.  The chefs were much more lively than this couple.