To begin, I've had a lot of folks asking me if I've stopped blogging about movies.  Nah!! Life takes its toll sometimes.  I didn't have any idea people actually looked forward to seeing what humble me has to say about films.  AMAZING! But I had the great pleasure of seeing two fun movie previews this week and couldn't just write about one of them.  So, you get two for one read this time. 

My most favorite chick flick of the week would be "What Happens In Vegas".  Ashton Kutcher, besides marrying his well-preserved mother, has always been the "punked" kinda guy for me.  Couldn't separate that young man from the one that keeps trying to be the romantic comedy hero, i.e. "Guess Who.."  However, I have to give him kudos for staying well controlled as Cameron Diaz's loving nemesis in "Vegas".  My rating:  $7.50 (1.-9.). 

Screenwriter Dana Fox (author of "The Wedding Date" that I watch everytime it's on TV) did another splendid job of mixing two combustible people that take an alternate route to realizing they are each other's soulmate.  The movie trailer shows Kutcher (Jack Fuller) being fired by his father for being directionless and Diaz (Joy McNally) getting dumped by wealthy boyfriend, Mason (Jason Sudeikas - 'SNL' and "30 Rock"... also from Fairfax, VA).  We get that's he's wealthy because the engagement ring is worth $30,000.00.  The two misfits get to Vegas to drown their sorrows and end up getting booked into the same hotel suite.  From there, we get the meat of the story not in the trailers. 

Joy is a high-powered stockmarket trader up for a big promotion.  Jack has a critical father (played by Treat Williams) from whom he's built a protective wall of failure.  He has a talent for building furniture but 'never finishes anything'.  Although Kutcher looks more mature, it's still obvious that Diaz is older.  Nevertheless, they make it work for us (for me anyway).   The first sense that they might have chemistry is when Joy is able to intimidate the hotel manager into 2 penthouse rooms.  Not to be outdone, Jack uses male comraderie to get a ton of VIP passes around town.  AHH, they can both hold their own. 

Waking up married, the couple agrees to annullment right away.  That is until Jack wins $3,000,000.00 with Joy's quarter in the slots.  Community property applies.  Dennis Miller makes a cameo appearance as their New York judge, R.D. Whopper, who has great respect for his marriage vows.  Queen Latifah plays marriage counselor, Dr. Twichell (don't you love these names?) to whom the couple must report weekly for 6 months to work on saving their marriage.  Queen Latifah with 1/2 glasses perched on her nose and a conservative boufant hairstyle totally pulls off the part. 

Some of the funniest parts come from Joy's best friend Tipper (Lake Bell) and Jack's stupid lawyer friend, 'Hater', played by Rob Corddry.  I kept thinking these two would make some kind of alliance but Lake Bell's ascerbic character keeps him at bay.  But, at the end, don't leave the theater too soon!!!  Dennis Farina plays Joy's boss who's planning to promote either Joy or co-worker, Chong (Michelle Krusiec).  Their word play is quite clever.  At a retreat for Joy's job, Jack has a name sticker on that says, 'Hi, I'm JOY'S        B--CH" which Joy quickly removes and places on Chong with a sweet pat on the back. 

The battles between the embittered couple never go too badly.  Thankfully, Ms Fox and director Tom Vaughan (mostly HBO experience till now), kept the skirmishes above the belt mostly.  There's no romantic bloodletting which would have taken the shine off this nice story.  The run time is 99 minutes or so without trailers.  It's rated 'PG-13' but has more inuendo than anything that might shock a kid or conservative older person.  Best new bet for a smile when you leave the theater.

SPEED RACER: 

IMDB has the character of 'Speed Racer' dating back to 1967 as "Mahha GoGoGo" played by Katsuji Mori (b. 1945).  The character has been well known in the states for a long time as a cartoon.  Tatsuo Yoshida (1933-1977) has credit for writing the original cartoon in Japan.  The Japanese influence is immediately recognizable in this modern version by director brothers, Andy and Larry Wachowski.  My rating:  $6.95 (1-9.).  Yep, that's an odd number but it's a compromise for me.

Talented, 23 year-old, Emile HIrsch ("Alpha Dog"/"Into The Wild") has the title role of Speed Racer.  You see, his father is Pops Racer played by John Goodman, Mom Racer is played by Susan Sarandon, older brother Rex Racer is played by Scott Porter ('Prom Night'), and brother Spritle Racer is played by  Paulie Litt ('Wizards of Waverly Place').  They have the family owned business of 'Racer Motors' and work together on the 'Racer' racing team.  Got all that racing lingo? 

Matthew Fox comes in as Racer X, the most fear and fearless driver who is legendary and wears a mask to hide his identity.  Rex Racer left home as a teen.  Could Racer X be Rex all grown up?  That's a question answered in the movie.  Christina Ricci plays the girl of interest to Speed, Trixie (a little stilted in her performance at times).  Richard Rountree has a small part as a famous, retired racer. 

The brightest and funniest sideshow would go to Paulie Litt (Litowski) as the wise-cracking little brother with his monkey sidekick.  Those two really kept the mood elevated throughout the story. 

Basic story:  Speed has always been affected by the loss of brother Rex and tried to make him proud.  He's a genius behind the wheel and is courted by the richest man in the racing world.  Speed quickly finds out that greed and corruption behind the scenes has ruined the spirit of racing competition.  He refuses to succumb to big money and give up his morals.  With the help of his loving family, girlfriend Trixie, main mechanic Sparky (Kick Gurry), Racer X, and law enforcement, the criminals don't have a chance. 

The entire movie is done with VERY bright, garrish cartoons behind the real actors.  The first 30 to 45 minutes of set-up time almost lost me but then it gets better.  Once you understand where the movie is headed, it's much more fun to watch.  If you love Japanese Anime, you'll love this movie.  It's rated 'PG'.  The most daunting thing is the run time of 2 hours and 10 minutes.  But, like I said, the movie gets more enjoyable after that first 45 minutes or so. 

Have a great weekend and I'll keep trying to find time to keep you up on the latest in film.

Kudos to Robert Downey, Jr. for getting his act together.  Married, sober, and making tons of good movies.  At 43 years of age, his body has been spared, at least on the outside, the ravages of his youth.  He commands the screen which can be good and bad.  In 'Iron Man', his strong stage presence and serious affect often overwhelm the other characters.  Also, since 'Iron Man' is less well known than many others of Stan Lee and associates, the writers spent too much time trying set up the origin of the Iron Man.  My rating:  $6.50 (1.-9.).

Tony Stark (Downey), we are told in great detail, was the genius child of a successful arms manufacturer.  He graduated from MIT at 17 and went on to take over the company after his parents' untimely death in a car crash.   The opening scene has Stark out premiering his latest deadly bomb for the military brass with the arrogance of brilliance and wealth.  For current event value, the setting in the movie is the war in the Middle East.   

Here's where I knew something was going to be off.  Stark's military escort, in the middle of the desert, is destroyed and he is taken prisoner.  First shot, he wakes up sitting in a chair, hood pulled off his head, staring at a video camera (what's with terrorists and Kodak?) while well armed militants stand around him shouting in Arabic. 

Suddenly the scene is like Dorothy's trip back from Oz.  Twirling camera angles, a blurred Stark screaming as somebody is performing crude surgery on him.  (I thought he was being tortured at first.) When the merry-go-round stops, Stark is covered to his neck and someone is sedating him into unconsciousness.  He wakes up in a cave (suspiciously to me) with another Arabic guy telling him that he saved his life by removing shards of shrapnel from around his heart and placing an electromagnet into his chest (attached to a car battery!!) that keeps the other shards from moving through his heart and shredding his organs. 

The terrorist captors are like the jailor who tries to hang the guy in "The Mummy" -- nitwits following orders.  Then, the brainy leader, bald, English-speaking, with nice features named Raza (Faran Tahir) comes along to give Stark his assignment -- build the same bomb for him that he was peddling to the US military.  He puts him and the other guy in a cave with fairly crude tools and Stark makes a compact energy source that can last for 50 years to replace the car battery.  Next, he builds an iron suit to escape with.  And you have to buy this premise.  Needless to say, he escapes and the bad guy gets away, too.

He gets back to civilization determined to stop making weapons that the evil terrorists can get to use against us.  He's going to do this and still have the money to build his sleek new suit in Titanium with Speed-of-sound capability.  About this time, you get to realize that the man who was his surrogate father after his parents' deaths, Obadiah Stane, is Jeff Bridges.  Being bald and with a full beard made him really different.  Great new look for him, I must say. 

Gweneth Paltrow plays Pepper Potts (Argh!), Starks right hand woman and perfect soulmate except he can't stop long enough to appreciate that.  She has RED hair and gets to wear tight but tasteful clothes with moderate heels as she meets his every business need.  There's a bit of flirting but it stays tame like in most comic books of the genre.  Paltrow is a nice accessory but was one of those overwhelmed characters beside Downey on screen. 

Terrence Howard plays his good friend and military liaison, Jim Rhodes.  I like Terrence Howard.  But he is relegated to supporting cast, totally.  In fact, the story has most everyone trying to keep the boy genius from imploding. 

Somewhere past half of the 126 minute movie, the action starts for real and I stopped finding myself dozing off.  There's a twist - back stabbing, if you will.  The bad guy is called "Iron Monger" -- what a hoot.  There's a great scene where Iron Man catches a car full of screaming kids and a Mom in mid-air after being thrown by the Monger.  He's holding them by the front end as his power fades, trying to slowly lower them to the ground.  He's groaning, they're screaming back and forth, back and forth until the Mom steps on the gas and runs Iron Man over taking off into traffic.  The two guys fight over buildings, highways, you name it.  Monger is causing havoc and Man is trying to stop him.  The action ending saves the whole movie. 

Talented comedian, actor, director, Jon Favreau (directed 'Elf'/'Zathura 2'), directed 'Iron Man'.  It may have been a little too large a project for him. On the other hand, it may be so big that the movie sails along on its own publicity. 

Stan Lee, Don Heck, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby get character development credit.  Screenwriters were Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway.  It's rated PG-13 so you can bring kids of all ages.  I think smaller kids will not appreciate the length or the talkiness of the long first half.  It might bother some when Pepper sticks her hand into Starks chest cavity, too. 

I'm fairly certain that 'Iron Man' and 'Made of Honor' will take the box office this weekend.  Which will come out on top?  I'd bet 'Iron Man' although I think 'Made' is better.  See ya at the movies!!

Quick and dirty updates for you on some of the 200 + movies I've gotten from Blockbuster since last August.  Good, bad, and often surprising -- it's always an adventure.

Rocket Science: My rating - $5.00 (1.-9.)

Stuttering freshman boy has issues.  Mom has had her Asian physician boyfriend and his son move in their home.  He's hit on by the most popular girl in school to join the debate team.  Thinking he's really got some hidden magnetism for this girl after they make out in the janitor's closet, he dedicates himself to learning to over come his stutter (which is worse when he's stressed).  At the first meet, she's defected to a private school leaving the boy with no motivation to continue.  This is a painful adolescent pseuo-comedy where the boy struggles with his feelings, his home's invasion by Mom's lover, and tasting some independence.  He really can't get over the girl even though it's obvious to us she used him.  The worse thing, his stutter never does get better.  The good thing, he learns to not care so much.  Written and directed by Jeffry Blitz (directed episodes of 'The Office'), it's rated 'R' and runs about 1 hour 40 minutes.  Stars: Nicholas D'Agosto, Anna Kendrick, Utkarsh Ambudkar, and Aaron Yoo.

Lars and the Real Girl:  $7.25 (1.-9.)

Man name Lars with autistic tendencies including touch phobia, lives in the garage apartment next to the home of his brother and sister-in-law.  Sis tries to draw him over to visit them going as far as cornering him at his car and tackling him in the driveway to keep him from slipping away from her.  He holds down a day job, drives, but eschews people whenever possible.  Everyone thinks he should have a girlfriend ignoring his obvious signs of discomfort with people.  (He's got a blink 'tic', too.) One day, his whole personality changes as he announces he has a g foreign girlfriend who doesn't speak English well, does philanthropic volunteer work, and is disabled in a wheelchair.  She's a very expensive and life-like manniquin (anatomically correct, mind you).  Thus begins a tale like 'The Emperor's New Clothes' where everyone buys into Lars' delusion that 'Bianca' talks and interacts.  She's elected to the school board, reads to school kids, volunteers at the hospital, etc.  It's great fun and very heartwarming.  Nothing slapstick or cynical at all.  Written by Nancy Oliver and directed by Craig Gillespie, it's rated 'PG-13' and runs 106 minutes.  Stars: Ryan Gosling, Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider, Patricia Clarkson.

Above and Beyond: $8.00 (1.-9.)

I just love epic war movies of which this is one.  A TV mini-series on DVD without commercials that runs 3 hours (in 2 parts), this story retells how some brilliant and heroic men made it possible for enough planes to reach England at the start of WW II to protect England from Hitler's annihilation.  Featuring Jason Priestley on the cover as Sir Banting, inventor of insulin, he actually only has about 10 minutes in the movie.  The other, less well known actors do a marvelous job developing the characters till I was totally engrossed.  I sat and watched all 3 hours not being able to get away.  There's plenty of romance, nostalgia, as well as the trials and tribulation of impending war.  Written by John W. Doyle and Lisa Porter and directed by Sturla Gunnarsson, it's safe for all family members to watch.  Stars: Liane Balaban, Jonathan Scarfe, Allan Hawco, Peter McNeill, Kenneth Walsh, and Joss Ackland.

Black Water:  $4.50 (1.-9.)

Two Aussie couples go on holiday in the swamps of Northern Australia -- yeah, that's where'd I go.  They hire a local to take them out on his little aluminum boat to fish.  There are only 5 humans in the cast.  The 2 women are sisters.  One just finds out on the trip she's pregnant with her first child but wants to tell her husband at just the right time.  Sis is the more carefree one who comes with her boyfriend.  Not 15 minutes into the movie, a pesky and intelligent crocodile (aren't they all?) dumps them over in the swamp with no warning.  Their guide gets no more screentime.  Up in a tree they sit.  Unmarried sis ends up on top of the overturned boat and has to walk to the them through waist-deep water in which a croc, who can eat a man, can easily hide.  Their cell phone has no reception, but wait, they drop it in the water anyway!!  They get stalked and chomped.  Who lives, who dies, and how it all happens is just anxiety producing enough to be fun.  Written and directed by David Nerlich and Andrew Traucki, it's rated 'R' and doesn't outstay it's welcome with a comfortable 90 min run time.  Stars: Diana Glenn, Maeve Dermody, Andy Rodoreda, Ben Oxen bould.

Loch Ness Terror:  $3.50 (1.-9.)

Originally fon the Scifi channel. Loch Ness really had a monster, a dinosaur-era creature that hides in deep sea caves and comes up only every 30 years or so to spawn.  A boy sees his father and uncle eaten by the creature at age 13.  He is scarred from being batted by the thing's tail.  He grows up to become a cryptozoologist.  As an adult, he finds his way to an American seaside town where Nessie has chosen to spawn.  There's a cute lady sheriff in the 3 person police force, her cute son who is smart but chose to stay and run a bait shop for his mother, and the girl with whom he is enamored who dates the rich bully.  It doesn't take long for people to start disappearing and reappearing as torsos.  The photography is nice, the acting isn't bad, but it's a 'C' story and script.  But it was fun to watch for me.  Written by Jason Bourque and Paul Ziller.  Ziller also directed.  The run time is about 100 minutes and it should be rated 'PG-13' for lots of raw, human meat all over.  Stars: Amber Borycki, Sebastian Gacky, Neil Denis, Brian Krause, Carrie Genzel, Niall Matter.

OK, I'm tired now.  Tomorrow I'll give you the lowdown on 'Iron Man'.  If you have comments or suggestions, you can make them here or e-mail me at seenamovie@yahoo.com.  I'll try to get back to you when I can. 

Patrick Dempsey (age 42) has a romantic aura.  How else can you explain a man with such a nose and small beady eyes being so sexy?  Just his presence in this film devoid of any advertisement portends box office success.  And so it should.  I'm pleased to announce that British director, Paul Weiland (of the 'Mr Bean' series), has managed to make a lovely product for Spring romance.  My rating:  $8.00 (1.-9.).

Tom (Dempsey) and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) meet in college when he arrives dressed as Bill Clinton during a college Halloween party expecting to trist with Hannah's roomate -- she doesn't warn Hannah.  Awakening in disgust, Hannah 'maces' him with her perfume.  Tom's reputation is for bedding everything female for which he admits guilt readily.  After they have a flirty little conversation in the dorm's living room, Tom becomes entranced with Hannah's ability to resist his charms and insult his nose, his personality, and his morals.  ***Makeup artists take note:  the pancake makeup is obvious but still well enough done that Dempsey DOES look like he did at 20!!

Ten years later and they remain best friends.  She seems accepting of his continued need to buzz around every flower in his path.  She's secure in her job in art restoration.  But it's obvious to everyone but them that their relationship holds the best part of monogomy.  They can't wait to be together.  They love the same things.  And they read each other's thoughts and finish each other's sentences like an old married couple. 

Tom has his 3 basketball buddies to exploring his feelings with.  Felix (Khadeem Hardison) the married father of one who relishes married life.  Dennis (Chris Messina), the single divorce lawyer -- need I explain more?  Gary (Richmond Arquette -- brother of all the better known Arquette sibs) is the macho man in touch with his feminine side who supports friend, Tom.   Kevin Sussman (Ugly Betty's boyfriend) has the ignominious job as the geeky guy who tries to crash the guys' games every week wearing too tiny shorts.  You can his his 'outline' if you need more description.   He interjects humor here and there but stays on the court. 

Hannah goes to Scotland for her job.  There, she meets a handsome Scot named Colin (34 year-old Kevin McKidd late of 'Journeyman'), whose familiy owns the largest Scotch whisky distillery in Scotland, owns a castle for each season of the year, and is a Duke.  Hence you get those trailer scenes in the bar where Dempsey takes out the waiter-- twice.  Unfortunately, Hannah's time away has given Tom an epiphany about his true love for her.  He agrees to be the "maid of honor" to break up the wedding (do I get echoes of "My Best Friend's Wedding"?) 

So there you have the set up for the rest of the romance and comedy.  Hannah's bridesmaids add their own humor.  Busy Phillips (the 'insecure' blonde in 'White Chicks' -- also Heath Ledger's daughter's godmother) plays Hannah's cousin who got 'played' by Tom and now hates him.  She's the reason he schedules a sex-toy party for the wedding shower and why he's wearing the tiny Kilt in the highland games. Kathleen Quinlan plays Hannah's wise mother.  Selma Stern does an excellent performance as the elderly grandmother who wears light-up "excitement beads" as a necklace.  Sydney Pollack has a couple of scenes as Tom's wealthy dad who marries and divorces like some change shoes.  (I thinks we're supposed to see why Tom has commitment issues.)  There are many more.

Check out the big scene in all the trailers where Tom tells the guy on the couch to stop looking at Hannah in lingerie.  Isn't in the movie.  Also, when Hannah's telling Tom she's leaving for Scotland to stay, there's a split second where the camera angle changes and Hannah's voice says, "To be with Colin", but her mouth doesn't move!!

New screenwriter, Adam Sztykiel (say that 3 times fast), wrote the story and collaborated with the writing team of  Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont ('Josie and the Pussycats'/'Surviving Christmas') for the screenplay.  The rating is 'PG-13' and it runs about 1 hour 40 minutes.  Nothing truly offensive for younger kids if you can't find a sitter.  HAPPY ENDING!! 

So, I missed the sneak premiere of 'Baby Mama' last week in favor of a work-related event.  And I had these 'buy-one-get-one' coupons from Cinema Cafe.  Yep, you guessed it.  I took my daughter to see it Sunday afternoon -- with a pretty full theater for that time of day.  We ordered 4 entrees to avoid losing out on 2 free dinners and brought 1 3/4 meals home.  (I was HUNGRY, OK?)  The movie turned out not to be as bad as I feared after reading reviews.  In fact, I'd give it a $7.75 (1.-9.) on my 'not unhappy because I had to pay to see it' scale. 

Tina Fey is blessed to be able to write, act in, and produce funny stuff without losing her self-esteem.  Sure, she was a voice in "Hunger Force" (gag), but I was glad not to know it till I wrote this piece.  I first heard about her after she wrote "Mean Girls" - as I stopped watching SNL a couple of decades ago.  She's attractive without putting the rest of us off.  And she's smart enough to be  believable as a corporate star who can afford $100,000 to rent a womb for 9 months.  She plays Kate, the youngest VP ever in this representative organic food business.  She's obsessive compulsive and type A.  So when the books say your baby is a product of what you eat and listen to while pregnant, you'd better believe she soon leaves "I'm so happy you've given me this opportunity for a baby" and takes on an "I'm paying for your uterus, that's my baby, and you'll do as I say" attitude.  If any of you know these single, successful types of women,  this was not a stretch of fiction!!!

Amy Poehler, SNL alum and comedic blonde in the likes of "Blades of Glory" and "Mr. Woodcock", almost goes over the edge with the dumb, white-trash Angie.  Yet, she (and the writer) manages to pull back and only go for the absurd enough times for the real laughs.  I was surprised they got Dax Shepard to play her common-law husband, Carl, instead of frequent co-star and real husband, Will Arnett (her brother in 'Blades of Glory').  Yet, one of the funniest scenes is Carl's schizo attempt to get Angie back.  He threatens, conjoles, and begs.  When all else fails, he gives up and offers to have one last quickie in the back seat.  So romantic!  Oh, and who can foreget Angie's inability to open the child-proof toilet lid.  The sink idea was priceless.  They could have used the tub but that wouldn't have nearly been as funny. 

Another SNL alum, Michael McCullers, wrote and took his first directing turn with "Baby Mama".  A brief but thorough review of all alternate baby-making schemes was presented so we all couldn't say, "Why didn't she adopt?" or "Why didn't she try invitro?".  The adopt thing was kind of skimmed over cuz I totally think she could have done that.  For the sake of the story I suspended that thought quickly.  I have no idea if the sum is correct. I suspect it's not far off.  Some probably pay much more under the table quietly.  But that would be illegal to admit, you see.  Also, I don't know if the payments go so directly to the surrogates but that would make it very motivating for women who don't care if they need a hysterectomy at 40 because their uterus has fallen out. 

I cannot go without touching on Sigourney Weaver as Chaffee Bicknell, the plastically optimistic owner of the surrogacy business that puts Angie and Kate together.  The running gag about her age and repeated 'natural' pregnancies in the midst of all those barren women just added to the fun.  Steve Martin has a dull and wasted part as the eccentric owner of the food business for which Kate works.  He wears John Lennon clothes, has long grey hair in a worn in a loose ponytail, and practices all sorts of goofy existential nonsense.  He's mildly amusing, if that. 

The story weaves the long pregnancy with growth and change in the 2 main characters.  Kate learns to go outside her comfort zone while Angie learns to live with boundaries.  Greg Kinnear plays Rob, Kate's unlikely romantic interest.  The best outright comedic character was Romany Malco (Conrad Shepard in last year's "Weeds") as Oscar the doorman of Kate's building. 

The run time is 96 minutes and it's rated 'PG-13' for content more than anything truly offensive.  I an see why it made #1 at the box office.  Fun, light, good ending.  What more can you ask?  Want more realism?  Try the Baby Channel.

Look forward to seeing you at 'Iron Man'.  My review for "Made of Honor" will hit this blog tomorrow.  Stay tuned!

Harold and Kumar's trip to find White Castle burgers back in 2004 was hilariously sharp.  The current Harold and Kumar are the Cheech and Chong of the new age.  It's hard for sequels to meet the standard of the original so don't expect the same wit.  Then you won't be disappointed in all the pot jokes and lame racist exploitations.  My rating:  $5.50 (1.-9.).

John Cho is Harold Lee and Kal Penn is Kumar Patel, very American boys in minority bodies which tags them for racial profiling.  In the first outing, Harold was uptight but naive.  Kumar was brilliant, rich, and wanting to be neither.   This round has Harold as the smart conservative dragged into trouble by Kumar whose a true nitwit.  Really, the writers gave Kumar no character.  His only redemption is that, at the end, he makes a commitment to the woman he loves. 

A brief opening gives us the reason for the guys taking a trip to Amsterdam.  The comedy (if you can call it that) of errors starts on the plane when Kumar's revolutionary smokeless bong is taken for a bomb.  An already paranoid, elderly, white, conservative woman yells terrorist when she sees Kumar lighting it in the lavatory with the door open.  "Oh, no, this is just a bong", he explains.   Reaction:  "It's a bomb, it's a bomb, he said bomb!!". 

They end up at the hands of the most exaggerated example of a bureaucratic idiot with no boundaries played with flair by Rob Corddry ('Semi-Pro'/'Blades of Glory').  Next stop, Guantanamo Bay in 5x5 cages shared with goats, straw on the floor, real 'terrorists' all around, and Army personnel whose torture dejour is the cockmeat sandwich ---- I'll leave it to your imagination.  They escape expeditiously.  Cuban boat folks give them a ride to Miami.  They meet an old friend with money who helps them get to Texas where they want to ask for help from Kumar's old girlfriend's fiance.  Daneel Harris (Rachel on 'One Tree Hill') plays Kumar's soulmate, Vanessa.  Eric Winter is her micromanaging fiance, Colton, whose dad is in politics.  Colton is also an a--. 

The majority of the movie is the boys' road trip.  But I'll tell you the funniest stuff is the 15 minutes with Neil Patrick Harris.  Otherwise, you get alot of marijuana, racists jokes and situations (the KKK for example), full frontal nudity of both sexes, and a pretty good section on southern inbreeding.  Jon Reep and Missi Pyle play Raymus and Raylene who are married siblings with their cycloptic son in the basement.  It's funnier than it sounds.  Another funny scene is when Corddry's character, Ron Fox, is 'interrogating' the boys' parents.  "You Islamic terrorists come into this country... blah, blah," by Fox.   Kumar's dad, "I'm not Islamic, I'm Indian".  Fox,  "OK there chief...".  A translator is told to ask Harold's parents questions in Korean.  The parents (in clear, unaccented English), "We've been American citizens for 40 years.  I am offended by this whole process".   The translator turns to Fox, "I can't understand a word they're saying.  It must be some obscure dialect.  But I think I heard something about being on the offensive".  Yeah, it's humorous but not side-splitting.

George Bush's double has a long scene.  He really only looks like Bush in profile, but we get the idea.  There are quite a few cameos.  They're mostly brief but do have some comedic value. 

Writers of the original Harold and Kumar adventure, Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, decided to direct this one themselves.  Maybe not such a good idea.  As in many a male fantasy movie these days, the beautiful girl gives up money and power for the 'fun' guy.  She loves to smoke pot, party, act kooky, and fulfill every sexual fantasy.   

The rating is 'R' and young kids do NOT need to be seeing all the genitalia.  A scene with a deer being slaughtered is one no child should be shown, either.  The run time is 100 minutes. 

Jason Segel, writer and star of 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall, must have taken this idea from his most recent flick, "Knocked Up".  For that's the first thing I though of during this movie -- sad sack gets beautiful girl who can look past the facade and uncover the treasure within.  Blah, Blah!!  Maybe it's a new trend on all those fat girl movies. Or those where the girl just needs some makeup and a haircut to become irresistable.  Dream on EVERYBODY!!  Now if you have money..... that's a different story.  My rating:  $ 5.00 (1.-9.).  But don't necessarily listen to me this time.  I've been overruled by other's who've seen this one.

Sublimely happy Peter Bretter is a theme music writer for a top rated crime show in which his girlfriend of 5 years stars.  Kristen Bell is the beautiful detective (ala CSI) who plays the title character, Sarah Marshall.  Do we see them together? Only in the photos in his apartment and only because we're suspending belief cuz it's a movie.

He sits around all day in his sweats like an unsupervised teenager eating Fruit Loops out of a batter bowl big enough for a wedding cake.  That's disgusting enough but hardly the epitome.  When Sarah calls to get together, he masterfully cleans his place ---- everything in the hall closet.  He's walking out of the bathroom clad only in a bath towel.  Lily-white, pudgy around the middle, no muscle definition to speak of -- you know, a sexy guy.  As Sarah is breaking up with him, he drops his towel and we ALL get to see his little buddy, full frontal.  And there you have the tone for the movie.  He won't put clothes on because that would mean "it's really over".  NO, in a true comedic manner, he walks away and bends over from the waist in emotional pain.  I don't want to mention my pain or the pained look on Sarah's face at that view.  

There's an interlude where he goes out with buddies, whines, drinks, whines, pouts, whines.  Bill Hader ("Knocked Up" alum as well as Officer Slater in "Super Bad") plays Peter's slightly more stable brother, Brian.  Brian's happily whipped... uh, married.  Hader does this great flat affect while listening to Peter's pity-party.  His advice is actually pretty good.  But Peter's not really listening, just using him for dumping on.  So instead of going far away on a vacation, he goes to Hawaii to one of Sarah's favorite spots -- like he won't meet her there. 

The rest of the movie is Peter learning to get over Sarah.  The receptionist at the desk give him some help, too.  Ukrainian-born, 24 year-old beauty Mila Kunas (Michelle in 'Moving McAllister") has a face and body to die for.  She's Rachel, a fairly free spirit who takes her time getting to like Peter but they do get together.  She distracts him, then attracts him. 

Jack McBrayer ('Talledega Nights'/'Dewey Cox') is Darald, the nerdy virgin and Maria Thayer ('HItch'/'Romancing The Bride') is Wyoma, his sex-crazed new wife.  There are a few laughs over his Bible quoting as she's going south in bed -- abomination is the work I remember.  Paul Rudd (Pete in "Knocked Up") plays Chuck, the airhead surfing instructor -- he's so convincing it took a minute for me to recognize him.  He's gots a few good scenes and makes the best of them.  William Baldwin and Jason Bateman did Segel a favor and showed up for a couple of scenes to chuckle at.  Even Billy Bush does a cameo -- as himself on 'Access Hollywood'. 

But I have to give credit to Brit Russell Brand who plays Sarah's new love, Aldous Snow.  He's got a 10 o'clock shadow, wears incredibly tight clothes, is incredibly free with his sex and sexual advice, and does the most raunchy gyrations while singing total poop.  But, he's 'a star'.  Brand plays it totally hedonistically.  The short scene of his sexual positions with Sarah was funny.  But no more funny than singing a ballad to Sarah in front of all the hotel patrons -- with frank sexual words and movements.  I particularly liked when he and Peter are trying to be normal while they are double dating with Rachel and Sarah at dinner one night.  They drink a trashcan full of wine and really let it all hang out.   But I think I remember that Aldous didn't drink - AA member, you see.  I also liked the scenes where Peter communicates with his brother by computer camera.  The wife hulas behind her husband for awhile.  She just takes all the jokes at her expense in stride, laughing along with the brothers and us. 

I hope you get the idea without me ruining what fun there was if you want to see this mess.  Dry humor?  Droll humor?  I can't describe it -- would take more time than I've got waking minutes left this late at night. 

I believe this movie is writer Nicholas Stoller's ('Fun With Dick and Jane') first attempt at directing a big screen movie.  I felt he let it run like a series of comedy sketches with a central theme.  The run time is 1 hour 50 minutes and it's rated 'R'.   I had a couple of laugh out loud moments but not enough to love this movie.   Plenty of people did, though, so go for it!!

Al Pacino's name alone will get most people into the theater.  I hope that knowing he's just as good as ever will justify their faith in his reputation.  To this day, I can't rectify that sweet, baby face he had in the original "Godfather" with the gruff-voiced, craggy guy he's been since "Scent of a Woman".  Wha' happen'd to ya, Al??  For his last '88 Minutes', I'll give him $7.75 (1.-9.). 

Dr. Jack Gramm is a renouned forensic psychologist for the FBI who has studied and testified against a majority of famous serial killers in his career.  His office is like Fort Knox with files locked in drawers with electronic keypad entry.  He readily admits he gets at least 5 or 6 credible threats on his life yearly.  So, nine years after putting away the Seattle Slayer, Jon Forster (Neal McDonough), the execution date arrives with the usual last minutes appeals for stay of execution.  And suddenly, women are dying again exactly like before which gives probable cause for Forster's appeal to succeed. 

There are a grunch of supporting cast both big and small thrown in everywhere to complicate the story.  Amy Brenneman plays Gramm's gay office assistant, Shelly Barnes, who makes Martha Stewart look disorganized.  Gramm sleeps around -- he's a bachelor with lots of money, go figure.  (He awakens at the beginning of the film to see his very young one-night stand using her electric tooth brush, standing in the middle of the room naked, with her left leg held straight up to the side in some type of yoga move.) GAG! Oh, sorry.

Alicia Witt plays the research assistant who has a crush on Gramm and ends up chasing around with him for much of the film.  LeeLee Sobieski plays a smarty pants student of Gramm's.  There are other's whose faces you will recognize.  All get jumbled around like a 'hide-the-marble' shell game while women die -- like 4 of them in the 88 minutes.  Busy serial-killer bees. 

An aging William Forsythe plays FBI agent Parks who at one point pulls a gun on Gramm because his DNA and fingerprints are all over the recent crime scenes. This is one of the 'Oh, come on!' moments, at least for me.  Even Gramm is totally blown away with the stupidity of everyone believing he could have taken such a turn to the dark side and been so careless as to have left clues like breadcrumbs for the cops.  Well, it could've worked if they hadn't gotten so carried away with the amount of evidence. 

Twenty minutes into the film, Gramm gets a cell phone call from a restricted number telling him in a deep, electronically altered voice, that he has 88 minutes to live.  For just a minute, he poo-poo's it.  Then people he knows start dying, people are tapping into his phone calls, his car gets vandalized then bombed, etc.  From then on, it's a race to find out who's doing it before the 88 minutes are up.  You can almost set your clock from the minute Gramm gets that call to the end of the movie.  Oh, and I'm not gonna tell you the significance fo 88 minutes.  You'll have to go hear for yourself.

Gary Scott Thomas ('The Fast and The Furious') wrote the screenplay.  Producer and sometime director, Jon Avnet, directed.  Run time --- OK, count 88 + 20 minutes.  The rating is 'R' for disturbing images, topics, and stuff you shouldn't take small kids to see.  In fact, leave'em home if they aren't over 10, at least. Talk to you soon!!

Jackie Chan and Jet Li in the same movie -- a martial arts dream.  And so it is.  An American boy obsessed with Kung Fu movies and memorabilia has a supernatural experience finding himself back in feudal China among a bunch of immortals with issues.  Tongue-in-cheek humor at the expense of martial artists of all kinds along with action galore keeps the pace for most of the movie.  A few spots lag, but overall, I think you're gonna like it.  My rating:  $7.50 (1.-9.).

I recently watched a DVD called 'Black Irish' (2007)-- really good if you get a chance to rent it.  Two brothers, one who is solid as a rock and an older troublemaker, are the center story within a poor, Irish-Catholic family in South Boston.  The solid one was played by 21 year-old Michael Angarano (Will Stronghold in 'Sky High') who appears to be trying to transform into a hot attraction for the girls.  He's got a ways to go but I could see in this movie those deep brown eyes and lean muscles heading in the right direction.  His name is Jason.  But in the world of immortals, he's "The Seeker" whose task it is to return the magic staff to the Monkey King who was turned into stone 500 years earlier by the unscrupulous Jade Warlord (Collin Chou - Seraph in the 'Matrix' films). 

Towards the end of the movie (yes, I am slow), I realized this was a Chinese variation of "The Wizard of Oz'.  The immortals follow more of the Greek mythology model, however.  Interesting mix, don't you think?

Jackie Chan plays 'Drunken Master', an immortal who must drink wine to exist but comes out of his drunken stupor in a snap to fight.  Weaving about on wobbling knees (kinda like the Scarecrow), Chan takes every opportunity for a laugh.  Jason begs for a fighting lesson.  Master takes the staff and hits him across the upper arm, "That a hit, tomorrow we practice block'. 

In her first U.S. film, 20 year-old Chinese actress, Yifei Liu, plays Golden Sparrow.  She's an orphan who joins the Master and Jason on their quest to return the magic staff to the Monkey King. Her major agenda is to reach the Jade Warlord and kill him for murdering her family years before.  She has a jade hairpiece that can kill an immortal and she practices throwing it a lot. 

The last of the trio ala "Oz" would be Jet Li as The Silent Monk  - dressed all in white robes that have seemingly retractable sleeves.  Snap out to fight, gone for travel.  Besides not being very silent, he's the more brainy and focused one of the 3 that assist Jason. 

And Jason keeps telling everyone "I just want to go home".  No worries, Emerald slippers DO NOT appear anywhere in the story.  . 

There's a fight every 5 to 10 minutes.  Tons of extras as the Warlord's army are taken out over and over by our flying, fighting heroes.  Jason learns a couple of years worth of martial arts prowess in the span of the film.  His muscles grow as we watch!!  Does that little sprinkling of chest hair mean anything -- a more boyish presence or manly?  I couldn't tell.  There's no real intimacy just some yearning looks between the 2 young co-stars.  It serves for a nice romantic aside here and there.  Come to think of it, neither Chan nore Li do sex in their movies.   

No surprise, Jason loves martial arts.  He frequents a Chinese shop where he befriends the elderly owner (Jackie Chan) and first sees the staff there.  Some hoodlums bully Jason and make him help them rob the old guy's store.  At one point, Jason and the staff undergo travel to another dimension (Dorothy in the flying house?).  Is it a dream? Maybe not.  Jason has to experience trials and tribulations to mold his spirit and motivate his reformation from wimp to hero.  There's a big finale in 'Oz' and then Jason the bullied becomes Jason the Good Guy back in the real world. 

Writer John Fusco has experience himself in Shaolin Kung Fu from which to draw (he's a Red Sash).  Knowing this makes much more sense to me that he could write a well-rounded script about Chinese fighting.  Fusco also wrote the script for 'Hidalgo' and the "Young Guns" movies.  Robert Minkoff directed.  Minkoff might best be remembered by you for directing 'The Lion King', 'Stuart Little', and 'The Haunted Mansion' -- all ones I loved.  The rating is 'PG-13' and runs just under 2 hours without trailers.  Chan's and Li's performances don't let us down.  I'm thinking this one's going to do well at the box office this weekend.

The LAPD takes another hit!!  Don't you wonder what the real guys are like?  And what they think of their reputations in the movies?  Well, if they all looked like the cops in "Street Kings", I'm sure they really could get away with the stuff in this screenplay.  My rating:  $8.00 (1.-9.).

Keanu Reeves plays Det. Tom Ludlow, looking only mildy older (that jawline is just starting to jowl)  and still oozing major charisma.  That magnetism is used to perfection as the badboy cop who believes that his squad "The LA Special" has every right to play a little dirty to take down scumbags.  Ludlow is like a heat-seeking missile.  Once activated, he takes out his target with hardly a scratch. 

Forest Whitaker takes a 180 from his recent 'everyman' roles to play Captain Jack Wander, leader of the controversial squad, whose fast talking, interference running tactics keep the heat off his boys.  The story lets us assume up front that everyone looks the other way because of the dirt they mop up. You know it can't be that simple if I liked the movie, right? 

Tongue-in-cheek, Hugh Laurie ('House") shows up first in the hospital ED pulling back a curtain to speak to Tom.  That same loud sarcasm is a hoot since it takes a couple of minutes before you know who he is (Captain Biggs -- Internal Affairs).  Terry Crews is Terrence Washington, Ludlow's ex-partner who is still in the uniform section and rides Tom about the crimes committed in the name of justice.  He's talking to IA -- to take Ludlow down. 

Taking a break from 'Ghost Whisperer' is Jay Mohr as one of the 'LA Specials".  Cedric the Entertainer gets to play a Bling-wearing informer --- mostly serious but you know Cedric doesn't have to go far for a laugh.  And Chris Evans (Johnny Storm in 'Fantastic Four') is the procedural researcher, Det. Paul Diskant (Disko) for the department who is trying to cover Tom's butt but wants to see some action in his heart of hearts.  Not good for his health, though.

Turns out that Tom Ludlow lost his wife 3 years before when she had a brain aneurysm blow during extramarital sex.  Her lover just left her on the ground outside the ED to die alone.  The coroner did a lousy autopsy collecting nothing that would lead to the lover.  Tom's sideline is embibing airline-size bottles of Vodka from morning to dusk to handle the stress.  He's so wrapped up in his own issues, he has no clue he's being manipulated.

Heck, we all get the clue he's being set up before the character does.  But, this screenplay will keep you guessing as to how he's being used and which way Tom's gonna get out of all his sticky wickets.  There are lots and lots and lots of guns.  Ten times more bullets fired.  Violence abounds -- DO NOT bring kids to this.  You can live through all 109 minutes knowing things will turn out without me giving you all the answers here.  THAT would take away most of the fun of going to see this film. 

Famous police novelist, James Ellroy wrote the original novel as well as being primary writer on the screenplay in conjunction with Kurt Wimmer ('The Thomas Crown Affair'/'The Sphere'/'Ultraviolet'/'The Recruit') and Jamie Moss.  David Ayer (writer: 'U-571'/'SWAT'/'Training Day' and director of 'Harsh Times' in 2005) directed this impressive work.  No duh that it's rated 'R'.  Hands down, this is the movie to see this weekend.