The Love Dare, Day 27 & 28!

Day 27: Love encourages! The Scripture: Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You! (Psalm 25:20) THE DARE: Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

I am not nearly as hard on my husband as he is on himself. He works hard at home and on his job. I try to tell him what a great job he is doing all the time. I thrive on words of encouragement and so I try to give him words of encouragement too. I’ve also stopped expecting extra things from him; he just doesn’t have the time or the energy. He does help out around the house a lot and he doesn’t EXPECT me to do everything. We serve each other; well we give it a shot anyway. When I’m behind he helps me out; when he is behind I cover for him (when I can). I have long since eliminated unrealistic expectations; in fact, I have eliminated all expectations so that way whatever happens, I am never disappointed! I think for many of us we have some preconceived notion about how things ought to be and when they don’t work out the way we want them to we are in some way let down. We blame our spouse for that disappointment. However, that frustration is really on us. Especially if we haven’t shared with our spouse some of the things we would like them to do for us. The truth is that if your spouse doesn’t know what you want then you can’t EXPECT that person to just have some psychic ability to know what it is that will please you. And you don’t have the right to demand anything from your spouse they are not willing to give. Hence, sitting down to discuss and divide up chores and responsibilities helps us in this area in a big way. We all have our God given gifts, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. It is a good idea to let the one who has a particular gift excel in those areas. For instance, my husband is a lot more frugal than I am so it benefits our family greatly by letting him do all the financial planning. Of course he asks me about big ticket items, but he knows I really could care less. In this case, his gift for meticulous detail trumps my carefree spirit. However, when it comes to concerns about things that are completely out of our control, my carefree spirit helps me to free my mind of the clutter of issues I can’t change and work on the issues that we can. I am more of the “big picture” person in our marriage, where Mark is really about the details. I could care less about the detail and that can get me into trouble! We balance each other. He helps me to stay balanced; and hopefully I help him in the same way! I think that is what marriage has always been intended by God to be!

Day 28: Love makes sacrifices! The Scripture: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. (1 John 3:16) THE DARE: What is one of the greatest need in your spouses life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

Our lives are a well oiled machine….I’m seriously kidding about that…but there really isn’t anything around our house or even in our lives right now that I could add to my already extremely full plate right now. And I think the same goes for Mark. We both make sacrifices for our family and we work together to ensure that everything is taken care of so I can’t think of a thing that I could make anymore sacrificial than I already do! Sorry to have bored everyone with this one today…but hey, check out the headlines….I think the Virgin Mary has been spotted again!

 

My Favorite Headlines:

Virgin Mary sighting…remember you heard it here second…Vatican probes claims of apparitions at Medjugorje (Reuters/Yahoo)

L.A. tops our list of places to avoid while on vacation. Have you noticed, most of these are in California…Tuesday's Los Angeles-area earthquake occurred on a fault 'that could eat L.A.' (Los Angeles Times)

Somebody’s gonna get fired over this one…US children get Playboy, not Bugs Bunny in cable mixup (AFP/Yahoo)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 25 & 26!

Day 25: Love forgives! Scripture Verse: What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:10) THE DARE: Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive”.

Forgiveness is the cornerstone to any relationship. Without it the only thing that you will have is resentment and alienation and this leads eventually to divorce. That really only hurts you. I mean let’s face it, who hasn’t been an idiot once or twice in their own relationships. Jesus said it best: “he without sin, cast the first stone” (John 8:7). I know I’m not ever going to be perfect and I can’t be trusted. As long as Mark and I are clear on this point, our marriage is perfect. I may get mad at him from time to time, but I never hold his thoughtless actions against him. I guess I look at it this way, if I show him mercy when he is behaving insensitive, then he will also show me mercy when I do dumb things too. It’s the law of averages…eventually, no matter how perfect you think you are, you WILL do something stupid and hurt the one you love the most. So to the dare….I make sure at the end of the day I never “let the sun go down on my anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Although, I have to admit, I might pick it back up the next morning…I will eventually leave it at the cross!

Day 26: Love is responsible! Scripture Verse: When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. (Romans 2:1, HCSB) THE DARE: Take time to pray through your areas of wrong doing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love; even if they respond with criticism. Accept it by receiving it as counsel.

My husband started the conversation with: “you may not want to hear this but”….you know when they start with that, it can’t be good. But since I began to make a very serious and concentrated effort to remove all sin and hindrances from my life that would separate me from the love of God, I have discovered this peculiar thing about myself. I really don’t mind criticism; in fact when it helps me to be a better person, I actually like it…weird, huh?!? He went on to say that I can be very critical sometimes. Just put CNN or MSNBC on and watch my head explode. I have found that it just steals my joy so I avoid watching and listening to the news on the radio or TV. I limit my news experience to the internet. That way I can be selective in the information that I download to my very limited brain capacity. But when Mark is home I like to spend time with him and sometimes that means I have to watch TV that I normally would not watch, like Keith Olbermann, I can already feel myself getting annoyed just thinking about it. This is when Mark gets to hear me vent my anger on the direction of our nation, and the bone headed media that is making their pathetic case to continue dragging us down the same dark, dank, socially liberal, morally loose rat hole that they have been dragging us down for the past 50 years! Since it hasn’t improved life for anyone you would think that commonsense would have told them by now we need to change direction…but no! The thought process for them is that if we continue doing what we have been doing, life will HAVE to improve, if we could only get those conservatives on board! Okay, let’s see how this works….if we continue to make laws that benefit the offender then life will get better for the law abiding citizens. If we continue to throw money at liberal, immoral education then life will get better for those kids who learn how to use condoms instead of making a commitment to be a life, long spouse and provider for the family that they will inevitably have when the condom eventually breaks…and it WILL break. If we continue to pay for more women having babies out of wedlock…aka, welfare, then those children will grow up to have more babies out of wedlock because let’s face it, who needs a man for anything other than making babies, then our lives will have to be better….no men….that has to be better. If we continue to promote abortion like it is birth control, then everyone’s life will improve by all those women who will eventually need psychological counseling because the guilt, pain and emotional turmoil has become to much for them to bare on their own. Yeah, I can see how it could be a liberal jobs program, benefiting psychotherapists and social workers. Yeah, Mark is right….I do need to work on this area….good thing he is a very merciful, loving husband!

On to day 27 since I am still a work in progress; oh great, this one is “eliminating all poisonous, unrealistic expectations”….this just keeps getting better and better as I go along!

 

My Favorite Headlines:

Our hero; round of applause for little Carlos…Experts Say Carlos Likely Saved His Family With Quick Thinking, 911 Call (ABC News)

It was only a matter of time before she turned on the Dem’s too…Cindy Sheehan turning attention to Obama, camping out at Washington Monument (The Hill)

While we’re at it, let’s just get rid of the Constitution too…Reid: Filibuster reform next year (Politico)

Men propose a new Thanksgiving Day for the “little blue pill”…Men stay sexually active for longer than women (New York Daily News)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 23 &24!

Day 23: Love always protects! Scripture Verse: [Love] always protects (1 Corinthians 13:7). THE DARE: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addictions or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.

Done! I did this “dare” years ago. But for those of you who have friends that are toxic to your marriage, steal time away from your spouse and criticize them, then you need to dump them. Of course there are many other things that steal our time away from our spouse, like work, partying, and yes, even church activities. I’m not saying to remove ALL your activities, but cut some out that are really keeping you from spending time with each other or find things that you can do together. I didn’t have much choice in my activities…I came down with a stupid, chronic condition known as fibromyalgia, and that has really SLOWED me down…but it has made my marriage stronger…so I know God is in control of all things, including this stupid condition!

Day 24: Love vs. Lust! Scripture Verse: The world is passing away, and also it’s lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever (1 John 2:17) THE DARE: End it now!!!! Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust can not be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

For women this usually comes in the form of some “guy” friend who listens to our problems and seems to be there for us emotionally. Let’s face it gal’s, he’s just your back up plan. Sure you say “he’s just a friend”, but you know HE wants more, or you suspect he wants more. Unless he is gay; cut him loose! Even then, your spouse really needs to be YOUR best friend. If he isn’t, find out why and work on that! Make becoming his best friend your priority. If you make the effort then God can take it from there!

For men, well this is porn….no doubt about it, because this is the easiest and most accepted mistress men can find. It can be strip clubs or other stuff too, but it is usually porn. And ladies, if he is checking out porn (or anything else), he is just not that into you! I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you. Good news though, it really isn’t you, it really and truly is his problem. And with that said, you don’t need to be checkin’ out other people either, under the misguided thought that “it’s okay to look, just not touch!” Remember what Jesus said: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28). If you’re lookin’, youre gonna be cookin’! Sin is sin folks, whether we “think” about it only or act upon it. That is why the bible says to “take every thought captive”. (2 Corinthians 10:5) He wouldn’t have asked you to do it if He hadn’t given us the Holy Spirit to help us with it!

And by the way, when it comes to Day 24; I adopted the “take every thought captive” approach many, many years ago. But I also adopted Job’s covenant: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.”  (Job 31:1)  For me, of course that would be a man, but hey, maybe that applies across the board for all the sexes for some of you folks! Now go and do what’s right in God’s eyes!

 

My Favorite Headlines:  

If we could just get the rest of the country to follow their lead…Kansas City wants to close half its public schools (Washington Post)

More politically correct silliness…Canada may adopt gender-neutral national anthem (Yahoo/Reuters)

Unlikely…The National Enquirer Earns Some Respect (New York Times)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 22!

Day 22: Love is faithful. Scripture Verse: I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord (Hosea 2:20). THE DARE: Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these “I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don’t’ love me in return.”

Loving the unlovely; Jesus said “If you [only] love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5: 46-48)

Jesus is simply saying, love your enemies, love those who don’t treat you right, love those who don’t act the same, love those who are different regardless of how they treat you.

Love doesn’t mean you have to take someone’s abuse. It does mean that you never retaliate hurt for hurt, but you let them know you are there for them when they decide to treat you appropriately. Sometimes people don’t always know they are being hurtful, mean or inappropriate. Establishing healthy boundaries is a great first step in helping others in your life to know what is right behavior and what is wrong behavior.

How does this whole “loving your enemy” fit into marriage? Your spouse should never be an “enemy”, right?!? This Hollywood version of love is what gets many, many married couples in trouble. Sometimes our spouse acts mean, hateful and is just downright difficult at times. If we give up on them and divorce them because of their actions we may never get to know their heart. Making an effort to put aside our own hurt feelings and find out what is going on with our spouse is always well worth the effort. You may discover that your spouse is just reacting to some perceived hurt and a simple talk can help smooth over hurt feelings. Marriage is a serious workout of our “forgiveness” muscle. Without forgiveness a marriage will crash and burn very quickly.

I find it interesting that this chapter uses a verse from Hosea. A quick story on Hosea…he was a prophet who God had instructed to go find a wife who was a woman of very questionable character…in God’s words…"Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD." (Hosea 1:2)

He was obedient and found a woman named Gomer to marry. I imagine she caused Hosea much heartache and grief. Just as Israel had done to God, that was really the point. She continued in her adultery and prostitution, God instructed Hosea to go buy her back from the man who now owned her after a time; and he did. It would be nice to think she appreciated it, but we don’t really know. All we know is God instructed Hosea to love his wife in spite of her unfaithfulness.

Most of us wouldn’t be able to that and most certainly wouldn’t be able to do it without God’s direct intervention. But true love never fails and if we lean on God for strength in our time of marital difficulties, He will reward us with peace in our heart, despite what is going on in our lives.

I encourage you today to put any arguments and hurt feelings aside and just tell your spouse “I love you”….no strings attached!

 

My Favorite Headlines:

OJ Simpson, RuPaul and Dennis Rodman….another excellent reason to homeschool…Three Los Angeles Teachers Removed Over Their Choice of ‘Black Heroes’ (CNS News)

Who’s looking out for your safety? Afghan Officials Say Former Gitmo Detainee Now a Taliban Commander (Fox News)

California is top place for women to avoid while on vacation…LA County sheriff says early releases 'inevitable' ( San Francisco Chronicle)

Strange but true: “Most charges involve men harassing other men”….Sex Harassment Claims Filed by Men Doubled in Last 20 Years (Fox News)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 21!

Day 21: Love is intentional. Scripture Verse: The Lord will continue to guide you, and satisfy your desire. (Isaiah 58:11). THE DARE: Be intentional today about making time to pray and read your bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are 31; a full months supply) or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) As you do , immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.

That is one thing I really try and accomplish daily, regardless of the fact that I am doing the Love Dare or not. I set aside a portion of my day, usually before I go to bed, to read the bible. And I have read Proverbs several times over.

One portion of Proverbs that I would love to address here is the “Proverbs 31 Woman”. This verse has been taught from the pulpit more times than I care to remember; entire books have been written on this verse and I have yet to really hear anyone do justice to this precious verse….me included! So I will keep my comments minimal and just let you read it for yourself.

A Wife of Noble Character

10 A wife of noble character who can find?

       She is worth far more than rubies.

 11 Her husband has full confidence in her

       and lacks nothing of value.

 12 She brings him good, not harm,

       all the days of her life.

 13 She selects wool and flax

       and works with eager hands.

 14 She is like the merchant ships,

       bringing her food from afar.

 15 She gets up while it is still dark;

       she provides food for her family

       and portions for her servant girls.

 16 She considers a field and buys it;

       out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

 17 She sets about her work vigorously;

       her arms are strong for her tasks.

 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, 

      and her lamp does not go out at night.

 19 In her hand she holds the distaff

       and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

 20 She opens her arms to the poor

       and extends her hands to the needy.

 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

       for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

 22 She makes coverings for her bed;

       she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

       where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

 24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

       and supplies the merchants with sashes.

 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; 

       she can laugh at the days to come.

 26 She speaks with wisdom,

       and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

 27 She watches over the affairs of her household

       and does not eat the bread of idleness.

 28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

       her husband also, and he praises her:

 29 "Many women do noble things,

       but you surpass them all."

 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

       but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

 31 Give her the reward she has earned,

       and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

This woman is a lofty goal for all of us wives, but if you live your life according to the precepts set out for you in scripture, over time and with a great deal of work on your part, this can be achieved.

The trouble with this “goal”, I would like to point out, is that it takes both the man AND the wife to accomplish this mission. The bible says that “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) One flesh? What a very odd thing to say, but for those of you who are married you already have figured out that everything your spouse does affects you in some way; good or bad, whether we like it or not.

A woman of noble character should never marry beneath her; but she already knows this. If becoming a woman of noble character was a process that took place over years of being marriage, there is no doubt her husband has taken notice. And to those Godly women married to men of less than noble character: if you do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, He will take care of you. An excellent biblical example of this is David’s wife, Abigail. It is a beautiful story of how God watches over women, even when their husbands may be evil. I will let you read it for yourself….

1 Samuel 25: David and Abigail. (NIV)

 

My Favorite Headlines:

It’s not just high-waters and goofy glasses that get you in trouble these days…School Official: Carrying Bible Could Lead to Fight (WTMJ)

Playboy becomes new religious guide book… Atheist Group: Trade Your Bibles in for Porn (Christian Post)

Are these the same people who traded in there bibles for porn? Marriages last longer than living together? (Yahoo/Reuters)

Who hasn’t done that? Driver in doghouse after walking pet while in car (Yahoo/AP)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 18 & 20!

Day 18: Love seeks to understand. Scripture Verse: How blessed is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding (Proverbs 3:13) THE DARE: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

I made lasagna since it is one of the dishes that I make well and he loves. It turned out to be the most disgusting lasagna I’ve ever made!?! I’m not sure what I did wrong? I used all the ingredients that I normally do? It was just one of those things I guess. Mark was nice and ate some of it, but he did admit, it wasn’t the best one I’ve ever made. Then he encouraged me by tell me all the other things I do well that makes up for my sad abilities in the kitchen. As for a peaceful dinner just the two of us at home? Not possible. When you have kids it just can’t happen….you really need to go OUT!! Next time the challenge involves preparing something edible, I will just take him out!

Moving on to Day 20….

Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ! Scripture Verse: While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5:6). THE DARE: Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. But You’ve’ shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins and You have proven Your power to save me from death through Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart and save me by your grace”.

The other night Mark said to me, “you have been treating me so nice lately, are you up to something? What are you doing? Is it going to change?” I told him, “yes, I am deliberately trying to put your needs first and I don’t think it has to change because it has been a lot easier than I thought it would be”. I think what really clued him in was the fact that I have not been argumentative or even saying smarty-pants comments when he is upset about something. I’ve just been agreeable. I have shared my opinions about things, but I have not been argumentative. I have restrained myself from being the jerk that I can so naturally be sometimes. Apparently he likes me better when I’m not being a jerk? Who knew?

Day 20 wasn’t much of a challenge since I ask God to forgive me daily of my sins. I try hard to keep sin out of my life, but the biggest problem I have is my mouth. So this entire Love Dare has helped me put a muzzle on my mouth and make me think first about his needs. It really hasn’t been hard at all. Most of these things we do already, but it is easy to take your partner for granted sometimes. To say at the end of the day…“I’m too tired to care about anyone’s needs right now” and some days I have said that, but this book has helped me to serve him better on those other days….I mean our marriage was already really great, but now it is just another level of great! And he finally noticed. I didn’t tell him I was doing the Love Dare yet; I’m waiting until the end so I can get his opinion about the whole process or until he guesses…which ever comes first!

 

My Favorite Headlines:

American’s trust in the government at all-time low….American reliance on government at all-time high (Washington Times)

Wanted: “Chocolate Bank” for cash strapped, menopausal chicks…'Hay Bank' is a food bank for horses of cash-strapped owners (Denver Post)

Places to avoid while on vacation…Sex club opens at Vienna art museum (USA Today)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

I’m a Sola Scripturaist!

I, again, would like to take a brief time out from the riveting portrayal of my life as I heap the love on my husband by taking the now, world famous, Love Dare, to share with you yet ANOTHER warning against false teachers and false prophets.

I have been accused of being a Charismatic Christian, based on my belief that the gifts of the Holy Spirit are alive and well and in operation among believers today. However, in my quest to know the truth, I have not run across too many “legitimate”, Holy Spirit filled Christians moving in the gifts. I have run into some true Holy Spirit movers and shakers, however they are few and far between. It is for this reason that I have pretty much abandoned the “charismatic” group of believers for a more conservative group of Reformationists. It is also true that I am not Reformed and I am not a Protestant or a Catholic, however this group of believers do not force false doctrine on their fellow church goers and they do not criticize those around them if the don’t speak in tongues by saying ridiculous statements like… “well then you must not be baptized in the Holy Spirit”; like speaking in tongues is the ultimate test. I have met many, many, many tongue speaking believers in my life time who run in fear at the thought of demonic deliverance. They will, of course, lay hands on their fellow Christians for healing, and then turn and judge them for not receiving their healing because it was the afflicted persons OWN lack of faith that prevented their healing. This whole Charismatic mess saddens me deeply. Of course I am not a “cessationalist” either. “In Christian theology, cessationism is the view that the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit, such as tongues, prophecy and healing, ceased being practiced early on in Church history.” (Wikipedia.org/Cessationism)

So all this not agreeing with anybody really leaves me out on a limb, so to speak, a revolutionary, free thinker with out any church to call an ally. I don’t think I'm alone though, I occasionally run into folks who feel the way I do. I just don’t simply buy into all of man’s self anointed theology. However, I am a very strong proponent for scripture alone….I guess that would make me a sola scripturaist!

John MacArthur, a world renown bible teacher, author and very popular cessationalist, presented his own “95 Theses” to the TBN ‘Church of Charismata’ and nailed it to the hearts of believers everywhere. I completely support his concerns. TBN has indeed sold its soul for the sake of the “sowing the seed” ministry. This man made theology is based on giving them your cash and in return, God will bless you with prosperity, wealth, health and good luck. I rarely watch TBN because I end up heart sick and cranky at the thought that this is the way the world views us and our “religion”. I would just like to take this time to let ALL of you know that real, true believers of Jesus do not look like freaks on purpose (it does come natural for some of us though), nor do they act like freaks, they are not judgmental, but they do stand firmly behind scripture, they offer REAL hope and healing at no cost to you, they are friends first and criticizers last, they are the first to lend you a hand not hold out a hand, they let you know that if you live your life according to scripture, you may not get rich and you may or may not be healed of your infirmities, but you will be at peace in your heart and filled with joy regardless of your situation or circumstances. God doesn’t promise us a life without affliction, suffering or pain, but He does promise to hear us when we call and answer us. Sometimes we don’t always like the answer, but He answers us none the less. He promises to meet our basic needs and care for us as little children, but we are there to serve others through a correct knowledge of Him as we trust in His higher purpose.

Knowing who God is takes, not merely reading the Word, but studying it…really, really studying it…all versions of it, comparing peoples opinions to it, searching it for life’s answers, deciphering the words, contrasting verse with verse, understanding the use of a word in the context in which it was written, knowing the accurate history in which it was written, not some liberal leaning re-write, listening to His voice, learning what is His voice and allowing the Holy Spirit to be your guide. I believe the Bible calls this part “living by the spirit”. (Galatians 5:25)

The length, to which one must go to understand scripture, has no end. The width, to which one must go to live according to scripture, goes beyond measure. The depth, to which one must go to serve others, has no price. This journey is never ending and it is full of those teachers that would fill you full of lies and distortions. To be taken in by a lie can lead to many years of wandering around in the desert, thirsting for the truth. Knowing the truth, will not only set you free, but quench your desire for fulfillment, satisfaction and give you knowledge of the real meaning of life. But you alone are responsible for searching it out and finding it for yourself. Don’t buy into the absurdity that the “truth is relative”; find out for yourself! Because it is FOR this truth and your freedom to learn it, that Jesus gave His life.

 

[Unholy Trinity: Outraged at TBN's Brazen False Teaching By John MacArthur (Crosswalk)]

 

My Favorite Headlines:

Not for atheists…Studies: Belief in God relieves depression (Washington Times)

Cleaver name…'Coffee Party' aims to promote civility and inclusiveness in political discourse (Washington Post)

Global warmers won’t like that…Crist pardons Fla. man convicted of littering (Palm Beach Post)

But can he find a venue to hold them all? Howard Stern to stage beauty pageant for Woods mistresses ( Arizona Republic)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 19, 12 &13!

I skipped Day 18 because it is to make a special dinner for your spouse. I will wait for the weekend and do it then. Moving on to Day 19….

Day 19: Love is impossible. Scripture Verse: Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7) THE DARE: Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your hearts and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

I can’t speak for my eternal destination because, as you know, that is for God to decide. But as for the dares that were impossible; I found this making a special dinner one of the hardest. I have mulled it over for days and I still can’t decide what to do. I’ve decided to procrastinate until the weekend. When we want a good meal, we usually go out. What should I make? I still have no idea. He likes my lasagna, maybe I’ll go with that. The rest of the dares have been fairly easy to do. Well except maybe 12 & 13 which had to do with fighting.

Day 12 & 13 consisted of letting your spouse win an argument and fighting fair. I have been waiting for an opportunity that would normally be an argument….well I got my opportunity last night! It was actually pretty funny and I totally caught him off guard. It was great!

Day 12: Love lets the other win. THE DARE: Demonstrate love by willingly choose to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

For anyone who has children that still use sippy cups, you know how impossible it is to keep track of these stupid little things. I have found sippy cups in my shoes, in the back of my closet, under the couch, in coat pockets, in book bags, in my purse, in drawers, in my file cabinets, in the bottom of the toy boxes, in the recycle bin, under the car seats, shoved inside laundry baskets, under my treadmill, on window sills, behind books on the book shelf, behind the sofa cushions, in my bed, in the shower, in the bath tub….you name it, if it can fit, these little cups have been shoved somewhere. Yesterday was no different. My husband was cleaning up the family room when he found two sippy cups still full of milk; nasty and gross milk that had obviously been there a while. That really makes him mad, wasting perfectly good milk. So he yelled upstairs at me and told me he had found two full sippy cups and that, in his words now, “you need to do a better job of keeping track of them”. I was busy so I yelled back “okay, I’ll do better”….he was sooooooo waiting for a fight….but he didn’t get one. He stood there for a few seconds waiting for me to say something smart…like I usually do, but I didn’t. He then turned and stomped off. It was one of those moments in a relationship that usually turns into the bickering for hours about everything else in the relationship that doesn’t meet up to the other persons standards. This time I didn’t say anything; I just agreed with him. I mean, essentially he is right, it is a waste of perfectly good milk and milk these days is nearly $4 bucks a gallon. However, how much time do you think I would waste everyday if I went looking for every sippy cup that turned up missing? Wow….I’d still be looking because I have still not recovered some of them. Anyway, I will try and do better. You know what would be a good idea, a sippy cup that gave off little beeping noises when it hadn’t moved for an hour or so. That would be very helpful. Or how about a simple GPS tracking chip installed in the bottom of each one. When one disappears you can simply punch in the ID number for the cup and your little Tom-Tom just spits out the coordinates of your cup. Now that would be American ingenuity at its best. Let’s get On-Star on board. Probably not a very cost effective option though.

Day 13: Love fights fair. THE DARE: Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

We generally fight fair, we are old and tired and overworked and it is too exhausting to fight dirty just to win. We are both pretty good at “picking our battles” so I know if he is upset about something, it is usually something that is pretty important to him…like not wasting his hard earned money on spoiled milk! I have resolved to try and keep my “smart” comments to myself. I am usually the only one who appreciates them and although they can be very funny, at least to me, I find I regret it in the end because it just makes him pull out his arsenal of smart comments and it never ends well. I do have to admit, his “smart” comments are much more cleaver than my own and sometimes makes me laugh. I seem to have a better sense of humor about my short comings and his little zingers most often than not, are pretty accurate. However, my zingers are not as appreciated. So I have resolved to keep my little “zingers” to myself. Like my little GPS tracking system idea for sippy cups? He wouldn’t be amused.

 

My Favorite Headlines:

Parents banned for their behavior? That’s scary…Southbridge YMCA bans parents from hoop finals, fearing rude behavior (Boston Globe)

Good News: Sharks can’t live long out of water. Bad News: They can still bite….'Small break' in shark-filled aquarium at Dubai's biggest mall (Palm Beach Post)

Finally PETA gets it right with ad to ‘spay and neuter’ your Tiger…PETA plans billboard featuring Tiger Woods ( Arizona Republic)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 17!

Day 17: Love promotes intimacy. Scripture: He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9) THE DARE: Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and pray for them. Talk with your spouse and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of theses issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

This one really made me think. Does my husband have secrets? If so, if he shared them with me would they be secrets? I don’t think secrets are good in any kind of relationship but most importantly, a marriage. I tell my husband everything, to the complete annoyance of my family. I overheard my oldest kid tell my youngest the other day, “don’t tell mommy cause she’ll just tell daddy”. I found it amusing. I am glad they don’t think I keep secrets from their dad. Although I don’t tell him all the ornery things my kids are up to during the day; why overload his brain with things I can handle myself. I have him on a “need to know” basis for his own sanity, but I do tell him all the important things going on in my life. He shares with me from time to time some of his struggles and difficulties and how he handles them. Quite honestly, I am amazed at his frankness.

Trust is one of those things in life that seem to get damaged at a very early age for almost everyone. It took a long time before I really genuinely trusted my husband, not for anything that he ever did, but my own personal experience led me to believe that there are very few people you can trust. He, thank heaven, is one of those rare individuals in life that you could literally trust with your life. He is a stand-up, go the distance kind of guy! In the midst of my illnesses, difficult pregnancies, financial problems, unemployment issues, family crises and…well you get the idea, everything that life has to throw at a couple…he never once gave up. He didn’t give up on me and he has never given up on our marriage. If he had any secrets he could be certain they would always be safe with me.

 

My Favorite Headlines:

Yeah, that’s the biggest problem with hotdogs…Pediatricians Want Choking Warning Labels for Food (CNS News)

“The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard…” (Matthew 11:19a) Textbook Image of Boozing Jesus Christ Upsets Christians in India (Fox News)

Finally, a study I can really re-lie down on….Naps Clear the Mind, Help You Learn (Fox News)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.

The Love Dare, Day 15 & 16

Day 15: Love is honorable. Scripture Verse: Live with your wives in an understanding way…and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. (1 Peter 3:7) THE DARE: Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is about your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

I try very hard to speak to my husband with respect; in fact, one of the things he used to say to me, especially in the beginning of our marriage is “I hate it when you talk to me like a little kid”…truth is I did talk to him that way and I have been making a conscious effort NOT to ever talk to him that way. He really does hate that…I also stopped saying “then stop acting like one!” He really hated that and our discussion never, ever ended well when I said that! It has been a long time since he has said that to me, so maybe I am making progress in that area. I have a patience issue, I know it is hard to believe…but I do. Plus, I have a very short attention span and I get confused if someone talks about more than two topics at one time in the same discussion. Anyone who communicates with me really needs to keep it basic and pretty simple. With that said, Mark has a very high IQ and has absolutely NO trouble hopping back and forth from one topic to another and actually being able to pick up right where he left off, even if he has moved on to another topic for an hour or more. Okay, so this is what I have been doing…when he skips around from topic to topic and then back again, I have been gently asking him to stay on topic until we have completed it and then we can move on to the next. I have been doing this for a while, but since the discussion about taking a Walt Disney vacation with the entire family has come up, it has been even more crucial than ever. Maybe I’ll start writing more stuff down?

Day 16: Love intercedes. Scripture Verse: Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. (3 John 2). THE DARE: Begin to pray today for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouses life and in your marriage.

I do pray frequently for my husband, mostly that God will bless him coming in and going out, that blessings from God will be “pressed down and overflowing”. He is so good to me and our kids that I really just want to see him blessed. One of the follow-up journaling questions was “have you experienced the power of prayer in the past?” Wow, yes of course. This is one of the ways in which God shows He loves us, by answering the prayers that are good for us. One prayer that I have prayed frequently for my husband is that he would find peace in the midst of life’s pressures. Well, I have to say he is a lot more peaceful lately, but I haven’t figured out if he is just tooooooooo tired at the end of the day to be anxious or if he really has given things over to God. I pray that he would find the peace in really casting “your cares upon the Lord”. We have both overcome so much with God’s help and our marriage has benefited greatly from it!

 

My Favorite Headlines:

Hallelujah…American Doctor Saw Medical 'Miracles' in Haiti (Newmax)

Find a way to support our local homeless ministries…Homelessness Up in Suburban U.S. (Newsmax)

Honeymoon not going so well? First came love, then came marriage-night arrests (Yahoo/AP)

As always, email me YOUR spiritual questions, top favorite headline picks or your “off the record” comments to NoShoes@charter.net. I will include your name and city, and if the headline pick is interesting, appropriate and not offensive, I will post them!

 

 

ADVISORY: Users are solely responsible for opinions they post here and for following agreed-upon rules of civility. Comments do not reflect the views of The Virginian-Pilot or its Web sites. Comments are automatically checked for inappropriate language, but readers might find some comments offensive or inaccurate. If you believe a comment violates our rules, click the "Report Violation" link below the comment.