Nora Firestone's Diablogue

Nora Firestone, founder of ThankingOfYou.com, explores the stories behind the stories, the "movers" driving the "shakers," and the morsels of greatness within every savory bite of life.  And then some.

I Didn't Know Him but I Know I Would Have Loved Him

News of Peter Decker Jr.'s passing slowed me in my fast track this morning. Since I'd gotten to "know" him over the years via interviews with Tony Macrini on 790 WNIS radio, Virginian-Pilot news articles and stories and anecdotes told by scores of admirers, Mr. Decker had been at the top of my list of people "to meet in-person someday soon."

Legend has it that one could be changed for the better somehow simply by savoring a morsel of his wisdom, sharing a good laugh or observing or joining in as he humbly and happily served others with his kindness, generosity, energy and expertise.

Had I had the privilege of getting to know him personally I believe I'd be inspired--no, compelled--to adopt some aspect of his ways for the benefit of others in the spirit of admiration and gratitude. But all I can do now is get to know him through the works of others--stories about him, etc.--and offer my own little contribution to him and to you in that same spirit:

I've set up an "Organized Group Code" at www.ThankingOfYou.com for anyone inspired to share anecdotes and express gratitude, at any time, for Mr. Peter Decker having made a difference in their lives.

For those who don't already know, Virginia Beach-based ThankingOfYou.com is a free Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude to recognize, affirm and honor the people who've had a positive impact on the lives of others--even posthumously. I invite all whose lives have been positively impacted by Mr. Decker to log on any time, any day, and post their stories of gratitude for him. You may post by simply using his name, or with the specific group code: "Pete Decker 2012", which will enable all stories posted to him as this "memorial" to appear in a search of this same group code.

These stories will remain a free, lasting, ongoing public testimonial to Mr. Peter Decker Jr.'s legacy and will no doubt be of great value to generations of his own family as well as to generations of those whose lives have been positively impacted--or even saved--by his efforts.

Anyone with questions or needing assistance with this is welcome to call me at 757-705-7174 and I will be happy to help.

Thank you, Nora

More Gift Ideas? Just in Time, 'eh?

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In addition to the list of home and garden gift ideas you can find here in Saturday's Virginian-Pilot, I've found a few more that might delight your inner (overwhelmed?) elf . . .

Oh so fragrant

   Check out the scrumptious new holiday (and other) aromas in candles and warmers by Crash and Scentsy, tested and savored by me.

 

     Scentsy plug-in and tabletop warmers (pictured) emanate the delicious aromas of their bar- and brick-style wickless candles. Holiday 10.0pt"> warmer collection features Menorah, Gingerbread (pictured), Merry Berry and more; a wide array of themes also includes military and college logos. Favorite seasonal fragrances include Festival of Trees and Cozy Fireside. Tabletop warmers: $25-$35; plug-in warmers, $20; Scentsy bars and bricks, $5 and $20. Find a local distributor at www.Scentsy.net

      Crash features clean- and long-burning 100-percent natural soy candles in glasses that showcase original designs by artists. The Zuz “Pine Cone” candle ($24) is perfectly scented for the holidays with evergreen, lemon, jasmine, clove, amber, cedar wood, sweet vanilla and musk. The Angela Adams “Sunshine” candle adds zip year-round with a grapefruit and persimmon blend. Find these and more at www.crashcandles.com    

DIY

  Do-it-yourself wall murals by Elephants on the Wall let you gift the kids with hand-painted themed murals for their favorite spaces. Simple carbon-transfer designs are cute, reusable and can be painted by number.

Prices range from $29.95 to $124.95. Purchase at www.elephantsonthewall.com 

 

 

 

Keep pests out this winter with Global Material Technologies’ CQ Xcluder rodent and pest barrier, putting professional quality control into the hands of do-it-yourselfers. Non-toxic, permanent and easy to install, it makes a great gift—especially if the giver’s willing to install it! DIY kit includes Xcluder strips, scissors and gloves. Price: $9.99 at www.buyxcluder.com

 
By local artists and artisans . . .

  Handpainted wine glasses by Rebecca Kelman, featured artist at Premier Gallery of Ghent's Art Bazaar (located at 2119 Colonial Ave) through Dec. 23.  Rebecca's offering 20 percent off on holiday pick-up orders now.  Check out the array of seasonal and year-round themes and designs or contact Rebecca for pricing and orders at www.bybecca.com         

 

 

 

 

 

  The art of vegetarian/vegan cooking made easy and tasty by cook/aritst/writer Betsy DiJulio's "The Blooming Platter Cookbook."  Per the author, it's "a celebration of the seasons, featuring a wide range of accessible, elegant vegan recipes for the home cook.  Spanning regional American favorites and global cuisines, these 175 recipes feature all the essential goodness that fresh vegetables, fruits, and herbs bring to your table, all year ‘round. The book includes recipes for appetizers, soups, sandwiches, salads, main dishes, sides, desserts, and brunch."

Visit www.TheBloomingPlatter.com for more information, or click here to order directly from Amazon

 

 

Pics and prose inspired by our own Lynnhaven River bring the works of local writers and photographers into the home.  This 10-inch by 14-inch full-color coffee table book is a perfect gift for nature lovers right here in Hampton Roads and anywhere the appreciation for marine life thrives.  $50.00.  Visit www.lynnhavenrivernow.org or call (757) 962-5398 for purchase locations.

 

  Gorgeous handmade wood/fiberglass surf boards and canoes by Harold Moe of Franklin, N.C. will amaze the water fanatics on your gift list!  They take time to hand-craft, so recipients will need to be patient, but a promisary due just in time for spring paddling or summer wave-catching only extends the holiday spirit, right Dude?  References available; 50-percent down due at time of order.  Call Harold at Green Leaf Canoe Company for more information, including custom sizes, styles and designs: (828) 421-8826

 

 

   Fan footwear for women by Hampton-Roads-native-owned Cuce Shoes lets fans of college and pro athletic teams sport their enthusiasm in comfort and style!  Check out the growing line, which includes thematic fashions for Virginia Tech; Old Dominion, James Madison and North Carolina State universities and much more.  Styles range from waterproof rainboots to dressier faux fur and synthetic suede.   Visit www.lovecuceshoes.com for prices and ordering.

 

 

 

 

*Handmade soaps by Virginia Soaps & Scents, a family-owned business in Suffolk offering a full line of all-natural soaps, bath and body products.  Great scents and shapes; you really have to see this for yourself!  Check out the line, find local distributors or place your orders at www.va-soaps.com

*For the tummy Gunther's award-winning gourmet salsas, vinaigrettes and marinades, made in Richmond with all-natural ingredients, include local flavors like Chesapeake Bay Crab, as well as fiery, zesty and refreshing medleys of citrus, peppers and other fruits and vegetables.  Find recipes and price specials at www.gunthersgourmet.com 

 

  *Wood-inlay furnishings by Hudson River Inlay:  Not locally-made in Hampton Roads, but the finely-crafted wood-inlay furniture, mirrors, floors and art will satisfy the most discerning locals!  Find designs for most any decor at www.hudsonriverinlay.com

 

 

 

*Discovered at the 2011 Virginia Beach Christmas Market, held at the Virginia Beach Convention Center Nov. 25-27.  You should go in 2012!  For information, visit www.emgshows.com

Interview with Pearl Harbor Survivors

In 2008 I had the special privilege of interviewing several local Pearl Harbor survivors for an article.   I met the eight gentlemen, then in their 80s, for lunch following their monthly meeting of the Tidewater, Virginia, chapter of the Pearl Harbor Survivors group.

I had no idea what to expect.  Would any of the men even want to talk about the trauma and devastation they faced on the morning of December 7, 1941, and during the days, months, and even years that followed?  What questions could I, someone 40-plus years their junior, possibly ask that would both honor and respect their personal experiences and also teach my readers?

Well, as it turned out, the men were extremely forthcoming in sharing their experiences and feelings.  My biggest challenge became whittling down two hours of profound story sharing to about 1,000 words for print--a task even I couldn't accomplish without the help of fabulous editors.  In honor of these men and all of America's veterans, the following is an expanded version of the article before it was trimmed for print:

By Nora Firestone

VIRGINIA BEACH

     John Delia returned to the ship around midnight. The 20-year-old Navy seaman might have downed a drink too many on Honolulu's Hotel Street, but he'd surely wrangled a good time. He hit the boat house bunk--figured he'd sleep in on Sunday morning.

Hours later, not far off-shore from Ford Island where Delia slept, Frank Chebetar broke out provisions for the day's menu aboard the USS Phelps.

His Navy destroyer nested among five other ships in well-manned Pearl Harbor. The seaman, a.k.a. "Jack of the Dust," figured the only thing he might defend before going on liberty that day would be the hot bread--from shipmates like signalman E. Frank Maloney.

Bill Muehleib had just turned 19. The Army Air Corps mechanic had been stationed inland, at Wheeler Field, in the mountains of the beautiful Hawaiian island. But he'd recently taken up duty at Hickam Field, where he'd attended technical school until two weeks earlier, when the school closed for temporary reassignment as a ground defense battalion.

A 200-plus student body had been divided into gunnery groups, dispersed to vital installations around the airfield's perimeter, and armed with .50-caliber machine guns.

Relieved from his 24-hour split shift at 0600 hours, Muehleib sought respite in his six-man tent, overlooking peaceful Pearl Harbor.

"About five minutes to eight, all hell broke loose," Delia recalled one recent, blue-sky Virginia afternoon. "I heard bombs and torpedoes and everything blowing up!" he said. "And machine gun fire! I had to get up and see what was going on.

"We seen these airplanes dropping bombs. To the left of me was the Oklahoma; to the right of me was the California.

"Somebody yelled, 'Take cover, the Japs are attacking!'" Delia said. "We told him, 'Bull!'  We could see it, but we couldn't believe it!

"Until I seen a plane bank. And I seen a red ball underneath the wing." The 87-year-old Norfolk man dropped his gaze. "And I knew that it was not one of ours."

"We could see the pasting that Pearl Harbor was taking," Muehleib, now 86, recalled, as if not a week had passed. "We could see aircraft. You could see the bomb as it left the aircraft. You could tell where it was going to hit before it actually hit."

Amid the strafing, Muehleib's battalion defended Hickam.

The Japanese fired 7.7 mm rounds and 20 mm canons in an effort to thwart arrival of American bombers and eliminate air and ground opposition.

"To hear the 'Poomf! Poomf!' of that canon, along with the 'Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh' of the machine gun fire, you just hoped the fella' had a bad aim!" Muehleib said.

Eight B-17s still landed there; four landed elsewhere. America lost a total of 188 aircraft that morning, Muehleib said. Smoke from burning oil darkened the sky, he recalled. Amid the chaos and intense fire, "people were shooting at anything that moved" above.

"Everybody was so touchy." If you left your foxhole later that night, "you had to be very careful, or somebody'd  start shooting at you," he said. "'Cause we heard the Japs were dropping paratroopers!"

America had been sucked into World War II. Two consecutive air and sea attacks by the Japanese that morning changed the lives of those at Pearl Harbor and changed history for the world.

 

"It was a surprise," Muehleib said.  "It was as if you were taking part in a movie that was actually going on somewhere else, but you were a vital part of it.  And you got scared to death, feeling hey, somebody's trying to kill us!"

Delia described running for his yard salvage derrick, the Mary Ann.

"We were gonna get 'er underway, and fight fire and whatever had to be done," he said.

"I peered out from the starboard hatch.  I see this Japanese plane come down.  It was about 20 feet off the water.  He dropped a torpedo.  It looked like it was coming directly at me.

"I just froze there," watched it hit the California, he said.  "I grabbed a bottle, I think it was nerve medicine, took a good drink to calm me down."

The only one aboard, Delia left the Mary Ann for a launch boat headed to rescue survivors of the battered ships.

Three trips between the harbor and the mess hall's makeshift clinic, 50 men at a time, saved a lot of lives that day, he said.  Those who didn't make it live on in Delia's memory--in piles along the wall.

"It could have been you instead of him," Delia had realized.  "That shakes you up."

"We were the first base hit," recalled Dave Davenport, who'd been stationed at Naval Air Station, Kaneohe Bay.  "After the first group of fighters left, they called us down to the hanger to fight fire and salvage whatever we could.

"I went into the burning flames and picked up a .30-caliber machine gun and ammunition," he said.

A second group of Jap fighters approached.  Davenport's group took up arms behind stacks of concrete powder.

"The pilots were so close to us, we could see them grinning as they went by in the cockpit," he said.

                                                                      #                   #                  #

By 10 a.m. it was over.

For 11 days and nights, Delia ran food and supplies to ships and salvaged wreckage.  Divers unbuckled Japs from sunken planes and floated the bodies to the surface for dispensary.  One pilot had been overlooked, underwater for 10 days, now faceless for the hungry crabs, Delia recalled.  Under his flying suit, he'd worn civilian clothes and stashed $864 in American money.

"Just incase he survived a crash or parachuted out, he was able to remove his uniform and mingle among the natives and nobody would be the wiser," Delia said.  "Those Japanese thought of everything."

The island and harbor were home to 84,078 uniformed U.S. Military personnel on December 7, 1941, according to statistics from the Pearl Harbor Survivors Association, a national nonprofit whose Tidewater chapter meets monthly in Virginia Beach. 

As several of the 32 members shared their stories over lunch, they noted a special significance in Pearl Harbor Day 2008 falling on a Sunday--again.  There'd likely be no sleeping in.

Lewis West, a Navy seaman, had come under fire aboard the USS Pennsylvania, the flagship of the fleet.  Now 89, the Norfolk man recalled the split-second decision that enabled him to think clearly and direct his shipmates to defense:

"I decided that I was going to survive," he said simply.

About 165 U.S. water craft--from battleships and destroyers to yard tugs and repair barges--had been at the harbor or within three miles of Oahu.  Eighteen were lost, sunk or damaged, including nine battleships, three cruisers and three destroyers.

West considers the sum "a disastrous blessing.

"If we had been at sea we would not have had enough escorts to pick up survivors, and we would have lost every one of those ships" to deep water, he explained.

The men often reflect on the attack and its 2,335 U.S. Military casualties.

"You learned to be sensitive to what's going on around you," said Muehleib, a Virginia Beach resident.  "It's just something you carry with you.

"But the most amazing thing was how you felt when you ran across close buddies of yours that you didn't know what'd happened to them.

"You had a friendship and a kinship, a feeling of camaraderie that was overwhelming.

"Sixty-seven years later, you're still meeting because you shared a common experience at a very young age."

As PHSA members, the men participate in veterans' events and memorials, locally and nationally, and speak voluntarily at Hampton Roads schools and civic organizations upon request.

Chebetar, chapter president; Delia; and Bill Temple, Virginia and District of Columbia chairman (former Army Air Corps), spoke last year to about 100 seventh-graders at Independence Middle School.  They shared their individual stories and memorabilia and answered questions.

"I wanted students to get as close as they could to the experience of being there," said Beverly Weddle, American History teacher.  "I wanted them to better understand the concept of living history," to make them alert for historical moments in their own lives, and "to understand that everyone's experiences are valuable."

"We just want to educate them," let them hear it from the people who were there, Delia said.

The men also recommend the 1970 film "Tora!  Tora!  Tora!"

When they cast their eyes in your direction, make it a point to connect.  These men have much to say but won't be here forever.

America had been warned, by career military personnel, of the nation's vulnerability in light of European civil upheaval, Temple said.  But and "isolationist" mindset reigned in America, evoking underwhelming support for defense.

"Nobody listened," Temple said.  "And nobody's listening now."

Temple, 89, warned that play-by-play media coverage in modern-day wartime "is not fair to the soldiers that are fighting the front.

"I know things that have happened today, that on my desk, would have been marked 'Top Secret,'" the Virginia Beach resident said.  "I believe in freedom of the press," but "they should have a little restraint."

"Once you find yourself in war, regardless of how it started, the only way you survive is to win," Maloney, of Chesapeake, said.  "The most important thing" is that "the people at home back the military."

The September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on America struck a terrible chord within hearts of Pearl Harbor survivors, Chebetar added.  The 87-year-old Virginia Beach resident urged:

"This motto I hope that your generation can carry for us, as we are just a handful left: Remember Pearl Harbor and Keep America Alert."

                                                                                                  Nora Firestone, nfirestone@verizon.net

 

Remember, you can thank a veteran any time at ThankingOfYou.com

Thanks, Giving, and the Value of it All

If someone bestowed upon you this wish, May you receive in life one-hundred times what you’ve given to others, would you consider it a blessing or a curse

Most of the gifts for which we can be most thankful throughout a lifetime aren’t tangible at all.  Don’t be ashamed if you can’t cram lavish gifts into your budget this holiday season.  Instead, bestow the gifts which, if you were to receive them in-turn, one-hundred-fold, you’d be proud and very blessed.

You’re amazing,

Nora

Nora Firestone is the founder of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth has been Thanking of You?  Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at ThankingOfYou.com

More from The Blogue

 

Fighting Cancer: The Bras, the Pinks, the Foxhole Mates, the Thanks

Less than 10 years after one brother's death by suicide came heart-wrenching news of another brother's diagnosis with an aggressive bone cancer.  Seemingly shortly thereafter came the call that doctors had found cancer in my father's esophagus. 

It's been a blur since the 1995 kicker with Brother O.'s death; I don't track the dates of these life-altering events, only the fears, the logistics, the physical, mental and emotional impacts and the outcomes.  Oh, and the gratitude born of survival of the beatings.

My dad, whose cancer was found, quite fortunately, during a baseline medical workup at the start of clinical trials for a new heartburn drug, had been gifted with a critical heads-up.  Turns out it wasn't heartburn.  Weeks in New York Presbyterian Hospital and another month or two at home in a death-defying effort to recover from drastic surgery and treatments finally rendered him strong enough to eat and drink on his own and then, gradually, to work his way back to a "new normal" in daily activities and even back to skiing with friends out west and silver- and gold-medal status at annual East Coast Police Winter Games.

Brother T., my near-twin according to childhood friends, beat his odds by seeking whatever number professional opinion it was that finally revealed the "arthritis" as a growing hidden tumor at his knee.  Had he been in this situation five years ago, doctors told him, they'd have had to amputate his lower leg.  Modern medical advances, however, enabled them to replace his tibia with an interior prosthesis, keeping his leg essentially intact for a hopeful victory dance on the other side of months of chemical treatments that would bring him closer to death than my heart could bear to witness.  I'll have to ask him how many of those dances he's since shared with his beautiful, devoted wife and their three boys.  His wife, by the way, is living with an incurable (to date), yet manageable, cancer of her own.

Better things than cancer run in my family, thank God.  They include infinite love and unquestionable support for one-another.  But as much as family and friends love my father, brother and sister-in-law, we couldn't be anything more in their battles than honorable foxhole mates.  I hope I lived up to that ordainment while helping to nurse my father at home by forcing him to accept food from a tube directly into his surgically-shrunken stomach and with streams of middle-of-the-night checks on his choking, position and medical equipment. 

I know my sister-in-law far-exceeded "honorable" in her care of my brother.

But still I recall how helpless I really was; how little anything had to do with me in the processes and outcomes of their ultimate survival.  I did what I could.  I prayed more than I ever had.  In each case I cried daily from both the pit of my stomach and the dark, daunting, taboo corners of my mind, so grossly inadequate in the challenge to solve this one.

Chances are that friends, family and supporters of other cancer survivors feel the same way: helpless, inadequate, in perpetual stand-by mode. 

You survivors, however, may feel very differently about the contributions of your loved ones, having been on the receiving end of their personal best. 

Today's Virginian-Pilot featured a special pink advertising supplement in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which begins today.  Photos and stories mentioned races for the cure and Bra-ha-ha viewings.  This immediately brought to mind the numerous people in Hampton Roads whose stories of cancer survival I've shared with the newspaper's readers as a correspondent during the past five years.  They all had people to thank for pulling them through the fight.  They all expressed genuine, deep gratitude for every contribution--from the seemingly "small" acts and words of encouragement ushered in by phone, mail and special deliveries, to individual and organized efforts that raised money, spirits and chances of survival.  They told stories about family, friends, doctors, nurses, neighbors, religious leaders and fellows, and even strangers they wanted to thank.  They had organizations like Susan G. Koman for the Cure and local hospitals to thank.  But they couldn't thank them all within the skinny columns of a single newspaper article.

So now, dear survivors (and families of survivors), I have the room for all of your stories of gratitude for the people and organizations who've helped carry you through the fights of your lives.  I invite and encourage you to post your stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) to them, in written or video form, at ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for thanking the people who've made a difference in our lives. 

Go ahead, take the time to reflect and articulate the impacts of their words and actions.  Tell them (and the world) exactly how and why their efforts mattered; exactly how they made a difference in your life--the companionship, the logistical assistance, the medical expertise, the shoulder reserved for your sobs, the home-cooked meals reserved for your freezer.  Maybe years before the cancer somebody instilled in you the wisdom or strength that turned out to be an essential weapon in your battle or valuable tool in the rebuilding of life in its aftermath.  Thank him or her today--why not?  

You may already be familiar with the positive effects on you of reflection of and attention to those things for which you're grateful.  Or you may be surprised!  But don't underestimate your ability now to give back to others by letting them know just how much and how profoundly they've mattered.  To anyone who thinks they just can't find the time, I ask this:  If you knew it would make a difference in their lives, would you take the time to thank the people who've made a difference in yours?

Don't be afraid that you don't know where to start.  Start anywhere.  Take as much time as you need to post your Thank You.  Simply "save" it on-site and come back to edit/add any time.  When you're ready for it to post, hit "publish."  You'll always be able to edit or un-publish it.  And just for you I'm including my phone number here: (757)-705-7174.  Call (don't text) if you need assistance.  I created ThankingOfYou.com for you and for all who've made a difference in your precious life. 

You're amazing,

Nora

 

 

Toddlers, T.V. and Tony Macrini

This morning on 790 AM WNIS radio Tony Macrini opened up the discussion about parents allowing toddlers to have TV in their bedrooms.  Thought-provoking calls came in, including some that proposed that parents can show they "trust" their children to view TV privately and that parents can use the "reality" the children witeness as learning tools.  I called in early with a quick opinion but later in the show e-mailed (an abridged version of) the letter below, which I don't believe was read on-air.  Some may find my opinion a little strong, but I hope you'll hear it out and consider the points.  I thought the entire conversation was worth expanding here with HR.com blog readers; please add your own insights as comments . . . 

Dear Tony,

You have to realize that TV today often makes entertainment out of human suffering and also often merges sex and violence--things that healthy adults are able to sort out, but that may become part of the fabric of a developing child's heart and mind.  In addition, cartoons made for adults appeal to kids and are viewable during their waking hours. 

By nature, children depend on the adults in their world to model appropriate behavior and expectations, to be discerning and reasonably protective, and to provide material for healthy emotional, social and even sexual development.

During children's formative years, when they have no rational and experiential frame of reference, degenerative material can be extremely unhealthy to emotional, social and relationship development. 

Here's one example of a disturbing challenge from my own experience: When my sons, now 19 and 17, were 10 and 12 they thought adult cartoons were made for kids because they were cartoons.  They were not allowed to watch shows like "South Park" and "Family Guy," nor did they have TV in their room (and still don't).  One night they broke the rule blatently; I heard them watching "Family Guy" on the living room TV.  I heard Peter Griffin say, "Oooooh, baby!  I could strangle her all night!"  I heard my sons laughing. 

I went nuts.

How do you fix, or even address that?  Is there anything funny about young men and women being exposed to that "reality?"  It's a good thing they'd disobeyed right under my nose.  I was able to respond immediately.  Had they been watching in the privacy of their own bedroom I'd never have known.  

Should I even have had to explain to a 10- and a 12-year-old that for some, merging sex with violence is a "reality?!"  What should I say, that strangling a woman during sex can heighten the joy of the sexual experience?  In other words, that this is an option?!  An alternative?!  But that it's a No-no, don't ever do it because you can kill someone?! How do you address that?  And why should any kid have to?

And is half the junk on TV even "reality"?  It is for some, but should it get the attention it gets?  This kind of stuff is a far cry from TV presentations like "Roots," which depicted cruelty and violence and a sad "reality" of the past, but in order to teach, to promote compassion, to enable people to learn from history, to see the evolution to creating a better "reality." 

Most of us understand that, for the most part, we create our own realities.  As Tony pointed out earlier in today's show, we make choices during our lifetime that shape and help define our realities.  If I let pimps and drug dealers into my home, that would be my children's (unfortunate) reality.  But I don't.  So their reality is that they had parents, despite their relentless fight for the "right" to have a TV in their bedroom, who did our best to help them develop socially, emotionally and relationally.  Now that they are young adults, most of the rest is up to them.  And as adults, I hope that they will bring "realities" to the world based on good character, respect for others and integrity.

Nora

To one 65-year-old caller who raised a good point--that when he was growing up he was not allowed to watch "Gun Smoke" because it was thought to be too violent--I'd easily take his side in that debate and allow it because those old shows always had a moral.  Too many today are purely sensational and not the kind of sensations I'd want my young kids feeling.  Another problematic difference between my and my children's generations is that decades ago we had limited channels and hours within which shows were aired.  Stations had to be discerning.  If it wasn't worthy, it didn't make the cut.  Now we have more than a thousand stations aired 24/7.  Anything has a chance; the more sensational, the more likely it'll get aired.

And don't forget the slippery slope with regard to toddlers and TV.  So when a child's a toddler it might be easy to lull him to nap with his favorite cute video.  Harmless, one could argue.  But children grow.  And then they want to control what they watch and surf the channels.  They discover a new world of crap that models degradation: The "Baby Daddy" mentality; disregard for authority; disrespect of boyfriends, girlfriends, children and elders; and more.  And, by nature, they discover that they can sneak and lie--"No, Mom, I'm watching Animal Planet!"  By adolescence they've typically gained more freedom.  And mixed into the TV stations aimed at young kids are previews for shows on that same station that are geared toward young teens, often addressing topics that should only be relevant to older teens.  But I guess judgement of that material would depend on what one chooses as their (or their child's) "reality." 

So maybe it was fine to have a TV in the nursery, but at what age do you pull the plug and make viewing in common areas only?  And just how does a parent do that, after s/he has used the TV as a "trust" tool?  The fight at that point will be a lot tougher than it would have been at the toddler stage.  The standard has already been set. 

Wait until you hear my thoughts on kids and cell phones!

What say you?

 

 

How Many Calories Burned . . .

I've never been a freak about my weight.  But my friend Judy and I just regrouped the long-forgotten mission to tone up and strengthen.  As I got ready to hit the Great Neck rec center this morning my mind began to wander:

How many calories does one burn in 15 minutes on that elliptical machine?

How many calories burned in one go-'round on the weight circuit?

How many calories can I burn . . . say . . . chewing?

I admit my mind wanders far without a leash.  But then I had another thought:  The guy who invents the machine that converts the calories burned chewing to 1,000 per 20 minutes will be the richest man in the world. 

It would have to be portable and discreet so you can take it to restaurants.

Have a great day, Nora

Give a Little Blood, Thank a Local Nonprofit, Have Some Fun with the Kids: It's All Good

Forget the fact that you may actually need your neighbor's blood some day and that you'll unwittingly rely on the local chapter of the American Red Cross to have collected and delivered it before you even knew you'd need it. 

Instead, consider the hour you might have free between 11:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Friday, July 29, and scoot in to Virginia Beach Friends School's "More Fun than Anyone Should Have at a Blood Drive" event.  The day will feature a Red Cross blood drive, children's activities, Teacher Bobby the African gray parrot's birthday party and cake, free chair massages for the adults, a magic show and more. 

Why bother?  Rob Grauzlis, account manager with the Donor Resources department of the American Red Cross' Mid-Atlantic region, sheds light here (his answers have been paraphrased):

Q   How dire is the need for blood in Hampton Roads?

A   The need is extremely dire.  The Mid-Atlantic chapter, which supplies blood to every hospital in Hampton Roads, typically needs several hundred pints a day.  We've seen fewer donations in May and June than we've seen in 12 years. Nationwide, the Red Cross has gone to a critical appeal . . . our levels are extremely low, so the more people who donate, the better.  Of all blood types, O is most in demand, specifically O-negative, because it can be given to anyone with any type.  One of the most common types is A-positive.

 

Q    Is it important to know your blood type and will donors who don't already know their type discover it through donation?

A    Yes, it's important to know.  After giving blood, donors will receive a card in the mail, informing them of their blood type.  That's reason enough to donate; and for the month of July we're also giving away free drink tumblers.

 

Q   Who's commonly in need of this blood?

A   Every two seconds someone in the United States needs blood; often they're trauma victims, people undergoing surgery and chemotherapy patients.  When we take blood we separate it into three products: whole blood, plasma and platelets.  Therefore, one donation can save up to three lives.  Plasma, which can be frozen and stored for up to one year, may typically help a burn victim.  Platelets, which get used within five days of donation, will often go to someone undergoing chemotherapy.  Red blood cells, which last 42 days from donation, help countless others.

 

Q   Most common misconceptions surrounding blood donation?

A   One huge misconception is that "they don't really need my blood" and that somebody else has got it covered.  People just assume that it'll be there if they need it.  If you needed blood, you'd expect it to be there.  But the truth is that volunteer blood donors are our only source of blood.  We can't manufacture it and there's no substitute or replacement for it.       I think some people think it'll be a painful process.  The only discomfort that you should ever feel is a slight pinch when the needle is inserted.  It's not a painful process. 

 

Q   How often can people donate?

A   Typically, every 56 days, or six times a year.  Once we take that pint of blood your body immediately begins to replace it.

 

Q    What would you say to people who think they're too busy to donate?

A   A lot of people don't realize how easy it is to make an appointment to donate blood, nor do they realize how many blood drives we have going on every day, at churches, workplaces, schools, etc.  If you can attend Virginia Beach Friends School's drive, please do.  If not, visit www.redcrossblood.org to find other local drives and fixed donation sites.  From arrival to post-donation rest, the whole process takes about an hour, with actual donation only taking six to 10 minutes.

 

Q   Can everyone donate, and how can people prepare?

A   Less than 38 percent of the population is eligible to give blood.  Generally, one must be 17 years of age or older, weigh more than 110 pounds and be in good health with no blood-transmittable medical conditions.  The Web site outlines requirements.  But of those eligible, only about five percent will actually come out and donate.  People can prepare by staying well-hydrated, eat a substantial, nutritious breakfast that day and keep iron up if you're typically low.

 

Q   Why don't more people donate?

A   The number one reason is because they weren't directly asked.  If everyone reading this considered it a direct plea, and if every single donor brought one additional donor with them, we'd be in a much better spot than we're in right now.

 

Virginia Beach Friends School's "More Fun than Anyone Should Have at a Blood Drive"  When:  Friday, July 29, 11:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. Where:  537 Laskin Road across from Hilltop East shopping center.  Details:  Features Red Cross blood drive, children's activities, SPCA pet food drive and animals on-site, magic show, free chair massages for adults, Teacher Bobby the African gray parrot's birthday party and cake, ThankingOfYou table and more.  Visit www.friends-school.org for more details.

In addition:  Virginia Beach Friends School staff and volunteers will be on-hand for informal open house tours and chats upon request.  ThankingOfYou.com will be on-hand to video tape people wanting to thank local nonprofit organizations for having had a positive impact on their lives.

Goodness and Gratitude Inspire "Aha Moments" Throughout Hampton Roads

Aha Moments

On June 13 I shared one of my Aha Moments for Mutual of Omaha insurance company's national "Aha Moment" campaign.  Organizers contacted me in May, asking if I'd share the inspiration behind the creation of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) to recognize, affirm and honor the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  I was able to record a short bit inside the very cool Aha Moment mobile film studio, which they parked at Norfolk's Waterside for two days during this year's tour to 25 cities.  You can view my video and inspiring Aha Moments from others in Hampton Roads here!

The videos are brief, but in fact several specific Aha Moments inspired the creation of ThankingOfYou.com:

I experienced one of my first memorable Aha Moments back in elementary school in Plainedge, Long Island, during the much anticipated Chicken Fight games in P.E.  Up against Paula Z., the toughest girl in class, I was sure my friend had me beat from the get-go.  Paula and I scrambled up and down those ropes that hung from the ceiling, each trying to knock the other off, while the whole class cheered for my opponent.

“Go, Paula!” rang through the gym continuously, not one of our classmates routing for the sure loser.  We all knew Paula would win, but I fought hard anyway.  “Go, Paula!” they cheered, as my toes skimmed the mat below.  With every shout for my opponent’s victory I inched closer to defeat.  I remember being tempted to forfeit.

Then I swung into the stare of Mr. Chuck Sybil, our gym teacher.  Mr. Sybil’s eyes locked on mine and he began to chant quietly, only to me, “Hang in there; you can do it.  Hang in there; you can do it.”

I realized that I had an important decision to make: To whom should I listen? Who should I believe—him or them?

Suddenly, the voices of the nay-sayers seemed to fade to mute, their enthusiasm for my opponent replaced a-hundred-fold by the one-man rally for my super powers.  I suddenly knew: The outcome of this challenge depends at least as much on me as it does on my opponent or any other circumstance.

So Mr. Sybil’s rally became my own.  With one instant recharge of my internal battery; one defiant burst of I can do it!, I pounced on my unwitting opponent, sending her feet to the mat in a jaw-dropping victory for the sure loser.

Mr. Sybil jumped to a resounding “Yessss!” while the rest of us stood shocked.

From that moment on I began to understand critical principles that would shape me as I grew and steer me at the crossroads, one of them being this:

Throughout my life there will be people who believe in me and people who don’t. And I have the power to discern.  I get to choose that on which I focus.  Even if the ratio of non-believers to believers is a thousand to one, focus on the One.

This became an essential tool, one upon which I would call time and again as I grew—a gift I would open again and anew as I needed it.  Whenever I thought I was defeated I locked eyes with Mr. Sybil and listened to his voice until it muffled all the rest: “Hang in there; you can do it!” And so I did; and so I could.  I didn’t always “win.”  But I always grew—in strength, in confidence, in knowledge, therefore in gratitude for his faith in me.

The more I recognized and affirmed the value and relevance of Mr. Sybil’s gift to my life, the more I chose to honor it with action—often, when possible, for the benefit of others.

For years I’d told myself that one day I’d send him a letter telling him when and how he’d had a lasting, positive impact on my life, why it still mattered today, and how I strive to honor that gift by letting his contribution benefit others through me.  I searched for two years but couldn’t find him.  In April, 2008, I had another Aha Moment.  I realized how important this was; that the needs to express gratitude for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives, and for those who’ve made a difference to discover when, how, to whom, and why it mattered, were universal.  So I created ThankingOfYou.com, in honor of all who’ve made a difference in my life, to facilitate recognition and thanking of those who make a difference in the lives of others.

Mr. Sybil has since read his story of gratitude at ThankingOfYou.com and he contacts me periodically to tell me that discovering how he’s impacted my life has had a profound impact on his.  Learning how he’s mattered to a former student has affirmed and renewed his own sense of life’s purpose.  Due to a serious injury, Mr. Sybil’s life has been extraordinarily difficult for the past 15 years.  But he tells me that on the days when his toes are skimming the mat, and he’s tempted to forfeit, he reads his message of thanks again and calls upon that same powerful advice he once gave a hard-pressed kid: “Hang in there; you can do it.”  And so he does; and so he can.

An extension of my realization that the deepest sense of gratitude thrives on the level of honoring, or acting upon, the gifts we’ve been given inspired another Aha Moment: My proposal that “gratitude is the most sustainable and renewable of all human resources” for its inherent nature to perpetuate goodness and fuel its continuum.

Today when asked what it is for which I’m most grateful, I answer, “Ironically and paradoxically, I’m most grateful for my deep sense of gratitude.”

The "Aha Moment" film experience was great, very positive, and the recording team of Jessica, Natalie and Ben couldn't have been more professional.  I'm not sure how they discovered ThankingOfYou.com but I'm grateful that they understand and appreciate the movement and have acted to help promote it and I'm honored to have been selected as a model--albeit small--for inspiration.

In viewing Aha Moments filmed by others nationwide I'm struck by the number of affirmations of the power of gratitude to fuel the continuum of goodness.  Quite simply, people seek to "make a difference" in the lives of others in honor of those who have made a difference in theirs.  Gratitude is an inherently powerful virtue, the expression of which amplifies and perpetuates the force of goodness--not only for the grateful but often for those whose lives the grateful touch.

Here are a few others from the Norfolk, Va., stop; you can find many from Hampton Roads here: Tidewater Arts Outreach: Impacting the lives of others with her musical gift

Two Teachers inspired her life of creativity

Saving lives with Project Lifesaver

Photographing the good (Stephen Katz, Virginian-Pilot)

Sandy Dumont, The Image Architect

Founding the Elizabeth River Project

So now I ask you: Who's made a difference in your life?  Tell them and the whole world about it by posting your messages of thanks to those who've impacted you in lasting, positive ways at ThankingOfYou.com.

You're amazing; now go be yourself, Nora

Take the 2011 Effects of Gratitude on the Everyday Experience surveyIts thought-provoking questions might just have an impact on your everyday experience.

HeartsApart.org Providing Free Family Portraits for Armed Forces Members

HeartsApart.org launches project to provide family portraits for Armed Forces at no cost

Wilmington, NC - HeartsApart.org was created to keep families connected while our military men and women are serving abroad. Through the efforts of volunteer professional photographers, HeartsApart.org provides our soon to be deployed servicemen and women with pictures of their spouse and children. The photographs are printed on water proof and durable bi-folded cards, which fit securely in their uniform pocket. HeartsApart.org believes that military personnel deserve and need the memory of their family to carry them through the difficult times of active duty.

Founded in North Carolina, HeartsApart.org now includes photographers across the country. “Our goal is simple. As long as servicemen and women are in harms way and separated from their families, we will be taking pictures,” said Brett Martin, Executive Director. "There is no end to the project - just a commitment to continue to serve our Armed Forces while they serve us.”

Brownie Harris, HeartsApart.org Director of Photography, has worked professionally for 35 years. With a distinguished career photographing the likes of John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Andy Warhol, Harris is proud to be part of a project with such significant cultural impact. “Every once in a while you do something that makes everything else worth it. This is one of those moments," Harris said. "Our first shoot had a tremendous impact on the entire team.”

Christina and Lee McCurdy were one of the first families to be photographed. After the shoot, Mrs. McCurdy stood in front of the crew and simply said, “I didn’t think anyone cared.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

“For the last year, HeartsApart.org has been working very hard to make what we all knew to be a great cause a reality,” said Martin. "Today HeartsApart.org, with the help of its first sponsors, secured a permanent studio, developed a website and started shooting what will be the first of countless family portraits for our servicemen and women. “We are very committed to our sponsors. Without their substantial contributions, a project of this magnitude would be impossible. Additional contributions will be necessary to fully realize the projects potential.”

HeartsApart.org asks that photographers, makeup artists, hairstylists, wardrobe stylists and most importantly local financial donors and sponsors join our fight. Donations can be made at www.HeartsApart.org. Most importantly, we invite the families of our soon to be deployed Armed Forces to visit the website and schedule their family portrait.

For more Information contact:  Elizabeth Bloch, Director of Media Relations HeartsApart.org Office: 910-815-3880 ext. 7140 elizabeth@HeartsApart.org www.HeartsApart.org