http://hamptonroads.com/node/353322 Local life en-us Copyright 2009 PilotOnline.com / HamptonRoads.com. Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:27:03 -0500 The Pilot is having a pet photo contest over the holidays. I, of course, submitted a picture of little Porquita in her Santa outfit. Now, I'm begging you to go to the contest site, pretty please with sugar on it, and vote for a truly deserving Chihuahua. And please forward this to all your friends and family asking them to vote, too. Why vote for Porque? http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/porque-choppe-needs-you Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:12:48 -0500 Sarah Jessica Parker and husband have an Ohio woman hatching a set of twins for them…surrogacy. The police chief of that woman’s small town is now on trial for breaking into her house and stealing things. Maybe he’s a Sarah Jessica Parker fan, maybe he wanted material to sell to paparazzi. He claims it was a whimsical joke that went too far. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/dont-steal-just-take-it Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:20:49 -0500 A lady in North Carolina visited an ophthalmologist who told her that her diabetes plus existing fat plus steadily escalating weight put her at risk of blindness. Now the portly patient has her doctor up before the licensing board, charged with insensitivity. In my professional career I had two fat fights. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/dont-say-fat Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:26:34 -0500 I want to be a fat trafficker. After reading a grisly story in the news, I had a great idea. It’s going to make me rich. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/ahno-fat-trafficker Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:53:50 -0500 Yesterday A.M. I stopped at Farm Fresh, buzzed around for a few quick supplies, pulled up to the check out where I had a brief wait. Ahead of me was a large man with a large order of groceries. The girl rang him up and asked for the necessary amount. Mr. Customer ran his card and was told by the girl that he only had a six dollar balance in that account. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/iraqi-credit-union Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:59:05 -0500   http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/old-school-spoken-here-0 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:39:32 -0500 I see my car as part of the family. That’s an American thing. Walk-bike-take-the-bus mentality is European. And Asian. And third world. We Americans climb into the family jalopy and ride. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/old-reliable Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:42:23 -0500 I live in a neighborhood littered with literati. Authors here, authors there. One such person, Rose Thornton, told me about her latest,   Ugly Woman’s Guide To Internet Dating. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/tellall-book Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:13:08 -0500 Pleasant Sunday-Monday weather took me back out to the porch…no mosquitoes, sunshine, comfy rocking chairs. From this point of vantage I watched the parade, ten types of pedestrians. 1) Moving briskly, there go people with post office chores, a letter in one hand or a small package. On a mission. Up and back. Done. http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/profiling-my-neighbors Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:44:38 -0500 Whew! Wasn’t that a sharp stick in the eye? I mean the storm. At Casa Ahno… http://hamptonroads.com/2009/11/water Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:08:12 -0500