Cheer up, Virginians. Yes, our esteemed solons in Richmond have been producing some cringe-inducing headlines of late. Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling, the state's very first jobs creation officer, had pledged that this year's legislative session would focus on creating jobs, not divisive social issues.

Gov. Bob McDonnell is catching a lot of grief for his proposal to sell the naming rights to Virginia's roads and bridges to raise money for their maintenance. This is most unsporting. Some folks view the venture as crass and detect more than a whiff of desperation, but what's wrong with offering sponsors the chance to put their names on publicly owned stuff for a modest fee-not-tax?

"... I get speakers' fees from time to time but not very much." - Mitt Romney, who earned $374,327.62 in speakers' fees between February 2010 and February 2011 OK, so it turns out I was paid an average of $40,000 for speaking engagements. I hadn't the foggiest. Really. Does this make me "out of touch" with the common people? Absolutely not.

I do hope our dear friends in South Carolina have FEMA on speed dial. The 2012 presidential campaign, now roughly 1,170 days old, is upon them. No less a personage than former Gov. Mark Sanford, who has returned from not walking on the Appalachian Trail, is worried about the wreckage that will be left behind by the Jan. 21 Republican primary.

Virginia weeps for you, Rick Perry. You, too, Rick Santorum. And you, Jon Huntsman. And, all right - even you, Newt Gingrich. As a native of this fair and noble state, I was ashamed, so deeply ashamed, by the revelation that these fine gentlemen were expected to collect signatures from 10,000 registered voters to qualify for the Old Dominion's GOP presidential primary in March.

’Twas right before Christmas, and all through the Capitol.
Few politicians were stirring, their consciences unflappable;
They’d bungled the payroll-tax cut without care.
And many folks worried their unemployment checks would no longer be there.

Democrats and Republicans were nestled all smug in their beds,
While visions of one-party rule danced in their heads;

Xe, the company formerly owned by Prince (Erik), has changed its name. Again. In early 2009, you may recall, officials at the embattled military contractor - nee Blackwater Worldwide in Moyock - decided that a new moniker might help it outrun multiple rounds of bad publicity.

PSSST. Rick Perry! We need to talk. I'm over here, by the Christmas tree. No, I'm not ashamed to call it that. It's Christmas. And it's a tree.

Riiing. "Hello?" "I have a collect call from Mr. Bob Bolling - " "It's Bill! Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling!" "Pardon. I have a collect call from a Lt. Billing. Will you accept the charges?" "Uh, sure." "Ken? Is that you?" "Hello, Bill. How are you this fine afternoon?"

Someday in the not-too-distant future... "All rightie, then. The car's packed, the house is locked, and everyone's buckled up. Let's hit the road! "Honey?" "Yes, dear?" "Who's the strange man in the business suit, and why is he sitting in the back seat with our children?" "Oh! That's Frank, our traveling loan officer." "Our what?"