Can't come to the funeral? The funeral can come to you

At Graham Funeral Home in Chesapeake, a webcam, above, roughly the size of a softball, hangs inconspicuously from the ceiling. It comes on eight to 10 minutes before the service starts. (JOY LEWIS | THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT)

By Philip Walzer
The Virginian-Pilot

ChESAPEAKE

When Brenda Beals was preparing her husband's funeral last week, she faced an unexpected question:

Did she want his service shown live on the Internet?

"My first thought - we grew up traditional - was 'Oh, my,'" Beals said. "Then I thought, 'Why not? Everything else now is automated and e-mail.' "

It turned out to be a good idea.

One of her sons-in-law, a weapons specialist with the Navy stationed in Guam, couldn't come back for the ceremony. But he could watch it on his computer.

Graham Funeral Home began offering the choice of online funeral services three weeks ago. Five of its 13 services since then have gone online, said Scott Stroud, manager of the funeral home. Odell Beals' was the fourth.

The Web camera and other equipment cost less than $2,000, Stroud said, so Graham charges nothing for the option.

"We're all about service - that's all we have to sell," said Steve Zittle, a funeral director at Graham. "It used to be 20, 30 years ago, service in this area meant bringing chairs to the house. Service now means, Can I take advantage of the technological advances?"

Online ceremonies are the latest technological advance in an industry that has gone to Web sites, online condolences and memorial DVDs in the past decade.

They're still relatively uncommon, though.

Of 10 homes, including Graham, contacted by The Virginian-Pilot, only two others said they offer a similar alternative: Carlos A. Howard Funeral Homes in Norfolk and Harris Funeral Home in Suffolk.

Howard started the service last summer. Only one family has used it: A few of the grandchildren were in Minnesota and couldn't attend the funeral.

"Most of our clientele live in this area," said Carlos Howard, the president and manager of the business, "so demand for it is not great at this juncture."

Harris began the service in 2003. The funeral home provides an edited version of the service online afterward.

"We want the edit to make sure we have it done very tastefully for them," said Vanessa Harris, the home's owner. "... You can still have a traditional funeral, but you can include it in this modern world."

About 10 families have chosen the option, she said.

Howard offers both simultaneous and after-the-fact online services. Graham now has only the real-time option, but in a couple of weeks, Stroud said, it will be able to post services on its Web site after they're over.

The innovation hasn't boomed nationally.

"It's very, very small numbers of people doing this," said John Reed, a funeral home owner in West Virginia who is president-elect of the National Funeral Directors Association. "But I submit this to you: I think it's a thing that will take off. I think there's a definite market out there."

So does Kenneth Alexander. The president of Metropolitan Funeral Service in Norfolk expects to web cast services when his new funeral home opens in the Berkley section in January.

"More families are warming up to the idea," said Alexander, also a member of the House of Delegates. "They understand the power of technology. It gives family and well-wishers and loved ones a chance to get involved from afar."

Local funeral home owners said it could have special appeal in Hampton Roads, given the area's far-flung military population.

In Graham's chapel, a web-cam hangs inconspicuously from a pole near a chandelier, looking something like an upside-down periscope. The camera is roughly the size of a softball.

The camera hang s above the second row. It comes on eight to 10 minutes before the service starts and shows family members entering the chapel, Zittle said. Once the service begins, the camera zooms in on the minister and casket, to maintain a sense of privacy.

Some funeral homes, such as Howard's and Alexander's, have a full-time technology specialist.

Graham doesn't.

It's Stroud or Zittle who mans the audio and video equipment in a former closet behind the chapel when a service goes online.

Brenda Beals' father, the Rev. Larry Chambers Sr., a Southern Baptist minister in Cobb Island, Md., officiated at his son-in-law's funeral last week.

He sees psychological benefits from the online movement.

"It points up the fact that death is a part of life, that death is a reality," Chambers said. "I just think it's a good idea for people who might have a fear of death. They can be comforted and realize it is possible to get through it."

Philip Walzer, (757) 222-3864, phil.walzer@pilotonline.com