Trish and Nick Weiss can mark the milestones in the two years since the death of their 9-month-old daughter in a day care home in Virginia Beach:
The point when Trish didn’t cry all day, every day.
The moment when Nick stopped wanting to kill the woman now in prison for illegally caring for 21 children on the day of his daughter’s death.
The day in the summer of 2006 when the fog of grief cleared, just a little, and they decided they would do what they could to save another child from the same end as blue-eyed Hannah.
“We want others to learn from our mistakes,” Nick said.
They’ve joined child abuse advocacy groups. They’ve set up a Web site that walks parents through the steps of checking out day care providers. They’ve crafted brochures and handed them out at safety fairs.
Now they’re proposing legislation that’s going before the General Assembly in January.
The bill for a child care provider registry falls short of their goal – a national registry of child abusers similar to one of sex offenders – but they see it as a first step into the Byzantine world of law.
Their focus through it all is this: To keep Anne Marie Cardinal and others like her from caring for children again.
It’s hard for the Weisses to believe that they once considered Cardinal a close friend.
The Virginia Beach couple thought they had done their homework when they selected her as a day care provider for their older daughter, Lauren, several years before Hannah was born. Cardinal’s daughter attended the same school where Trish teaches special education, and came highly recommended. Cardinal told the Weisses she had a state license, and posted one on her wall. References that Trish called said she was a wonderful provider.
There are three things, in retrospect, the Weisses wish they had done during that first search, three things they have recommended to parents countless times since: A criminal record check through the State Police. A screen through Child Protective Services. A check with the Department of Social Services to see whether the day care license was legitimate.
They are forms that Trish regularly prints out for other parents, whether they ask for them or not, because just one might have saved the couple from tragedy on Sept. 14, 2005.
That’s the day when Cardinal called Trish to say Hannah had stopped breathing. Nick, a plumber, received a call from the Fire Department about the same time telling him he needed to come to his daughter’s day care immediately, or someone could come get him.
They each turned onto a street choked with ambulances, fire trucks and police cars. A detective stopped Trish as she tried to run into the house. He said Hannah had died.
Together Nick and Trish sat in an ambulance for almost two hours waiting to see their baby daughter, knowing all the while Lauren, who was 3 at the time, was also inside the house filled with detectives and rescue workers. Finally, a detective brought Hannah to them. On either side of her mouth were bruises. Inside her mouth were cuts. Neither had been there in the morning when Trish dropped her off.
Each parent held the baby.
They stroked her face, by now cool. They hugged her and said goodbye. Then the detective took Hannah away.
 Nick and Trish Weiss stand near a rose bush planted at their home in memory of Hannah. |
Abrasions inside the mouth suggested smothering, but the medical examiner couldn’t pinpoint a cause of death. Cardinal was not charged in the girl’s death. A troubled past, however, surfaced in police and court records.
- In 2000, Virginia Beach Child Protective Services had investigated allegations against Cardinal, including placing children as young as 1 in a closet for three hours at a time. She was convicted of child neglect.
- In 2001, Cardinal and her husband, Michael, pleaded guilty to conspiring to obtain money under false pretenses, a felony. The couple used information gathered from parents of children in her day care home.
- The convictions prevented her from getting a state day care license; the one posted in her home was not valid.
After Hannah’s death, Cardinal pleaded guilty to 10 counts of running a day care home without a license. In February 2006, she was sentenced to 10 years in prison, which she is now serving at the Virginia Beach Correctional Center.
To the Weisses, the solution seems simple.
A registry similar to the sex offender list that parents could use to check people for abuse and neglect convictions.
In 2006, President Bush signed into law the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. The main part of the act was a sex offender registry, but it also called for a child abuser registry to screen adoptive and foster care families. The Weisses hoped the registry could one day be used by parents to screen child care providers.
However, there was no funding attached to that part of the provision, and it still is not a reality. Registries of child abusers also have met legal resistance because cases substantiated by child abuse investigators often don’t have enough evidence to be prosecuted in a court of law.
The Weisses went to Del. Robert Tata, R-Virginia Beach, to see whether something could be done at the state level.
Tata said he ran the idea past legislative services, which reviews and crafts the language of proposed bills. The resulting bill is different from what the Weisses wanted, but they see it as a good first step.
Rather than screen people out, it screens people in. Providers who keep fewer than six children pay a fee and agree to criminal record and child abuse screens. The state already has a program similar to what they are proposing that some providers use to qualify for a U.S. Department of Agriculture food program.
People who have state licenses to care for children – required for those who keep six or more children – already go through the checks.
The state Department of Social Services has not taken an official stance on the bill, according to Melissa Perdue, assistant director of public affairs.
Creating better tools to help parents screen day care providers has even more meaning for the Weiss family in the days and months leading up to Jan. 20.
That’s the date Trish, almost eight months pregnant now, is due to deliver the couple’s baby.
A girl.
The couple wrestled with the decision to have another child.
Could they afford for Trish to stay at home after the baby was born? Would they ever trust anyone to keep their baby if Trish went back to work? Were they trying to do the impossible and unthinkable, replace chubby-cheeked Hannah?
Ultimately, though, they wanted Lauren, now 6, to have a sibling in the world.
She was the one, after all, who was in the same house when her baby sister died. The one who watched a detective take away the body and later complained, “I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
The Weisses’ search for a child care provider this time around will be different.
“We will tell them first what happened … ” Nick said.
“ … And tell them to be prepared to be under a watchful eye,” Trish continued.
There is so much that will never be the same. Their ingrained suspicion of people, their guilt at being deceived, their anger at a system they believe let them down.
“Every time I see a sign for a day care in a neighborhood … ” Nick said. “ … I want to kick the door in.”
They know there are many nurturing providers out there and urge parents to check everyone out. Every person they can advise, every step taken to make it easier for parents to check out providers is done in Hannah’s honor. They tell their story, sometimes in tears, to serve as a cautionary tale, and to save someone from sitting in an ambulance, waiting to hold a baby cool to the touch.
“Whatever you imagine it’s like to lose a child,” Trish said, “it’s a thousand times worse.”
Elizabeth Simpson, (757) 446-2635,
elizabeth.simpson@pilotonline.com
Information about child care providers can be found on several Web sites:
- The Virginia Department of Social Services Web site lists the names of all licensed day care centers and family day care homes, and also includes information about recent inspections. (People who keep more than five children must be licensed, which requires background checks.) www.dss.virginia.gov
There is also a form online that parents can print out to have a provider screened through the state’s Central Registry, which lists people with substantiated cases of child abuse and neglect. The parents must have the notarized permission of the person being screened. Cost is $5.
- A criminal history record request form can be downloaded from the Virginia State Police Department Web site: www.vsp.state.va.us/downloads/SP167.pdf
The cost of completing this form is $15 and must have the notarized agreement of the person being screened.
- The Planning Council also has information about selecting child care providers, including a list of local child care providers who have volunteered to be screened through the state’s Central Registry and have a criminal background check: www.theplanningcouncil.org
- For more information from Trish and Nick Weiss on how to check out a child care provider, check their Web site at www.ourbutterflyangel.com
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Thank you Trish and Nick
for working so hard to help prevent what happened to your child to happen again. I know it has been 2 years since the tradegy but I want you to know I will still pray for you both. I am so sorry for your loss and cannot ever imagine it happening to me or my children (both grown now). Please don't listen to these people who are doing nothing but condeming you and other saying if you can't afford to stay home to care for a child do not have one. Don't bend to their level. When my kids were young me and my wife at that time had NO luxuries and were not able to stay at home and that did not make us bad parents. We were lucky and the person who looked over our children was an old school chum. God Bless you Both!
I can't believe what I'm reading!!!
What right does anyone have to criticize? It's pretty rude too. You are making assumptions about working parents but you really don't know -at all- what their situation is. You are also making assumptions that kids who go to daycare are not well-mannered or well-adjusted. How do you know that these parents (or single moms) haven't done everything in their power to avoid daycare. Maybe it didn't start out that way but some unforseen event caused a parent to have to work. Maybe these parents can't afford soccer or swim lessons unless they both work. I bet there's not a mom out there who doesn't wish she could stay home. My best to the Weiss family, good luck and my condolences.
Broken Heart
It saddens me to think that people actually believe that just because you have to work that you should not have kids. Some people would love to be able to stay home but can not afford that no matter what they do. I can imagine that one of these parents would have love to stay home but they were unable to. Also, you should be able to trust your daycare provider, this story breaks my heart to know that they could not trust her. My daughter goes to an in home daycare and she obsolutely loves it there.
People are amazing
It amazes me how many people are using this story as a forum to attack those parents that need to use day care services. Especially those of you that say, "if you can't stay home with your kids, don't have them". Wow. So, I don't deserve my son because I can't afford to stay home with him? I think not. And Scott H.? It's really nice that you and your wife have that system worked out, but not all parents can. Some of us are single mothers that have to work full time just to make sure that our children have what they need, not just what I want. Maybe you negative folks should put the focus back on what the story is really about instead of talking down about people who need to use day care services.
The audacity and ignorance of some people
I cannot believe a couple of the comments I have read. There are many good people out there who are able to make a sacrifice to stay home.. Until a lay off.......an illness......etc. Are we all supposed to assume these things are going to happen that may doom our society. People with money don't always make the best of parents either. Welcome to the real world people. It is damn near impossible to live on a single income anymore unless you are in the military, and even then it can be damn difficult. Just because people aren't rolling in cash doesn't mean they don't have a right to have children. As long as they are not living off the system and continuing to have more children what business is it of ours? Daycare has its risks and benefits.
Do the math
Terrible, terrible tragedy. My heart goes out to all of those who have been so deeply touched by this. That said, my wife and I agreed she'd work after our first child. My sister watched my daughter. After a few weeks, my sister said she could no longer take care of her. "The baby's mom needs to be the one who sees her smile, hears her first words, sees the first steps." she said. So we sold a car, etc and my wife stayed home. That was 1987 and I was making $18000 a year. A few years and three more sons later, she went back to work again. After doing the math to figure out how much she was making, car, insurance, clothes, convience foods, eating out, etc we found her to be making less than $5 an hour. She's back home again.
Enforce the law before a tragedy
What good is a restriction on the number of kids if the state doesn't do random checks at the day care providers to see if they are complying. In this case and the recent case of Susan Peloquin, it seems like they were endangering children for the sake of profit. I say that random house checks should be done, and if, a day care provider is watching more kids than her license allows, she should go to jail. It shouldn't take a dead child before someone is caught.
Non-parental childcare should only be an
extreme exception.If daycare is absolutely the only option then a national database would be an important tool. It is unfortunate that daycare has become so much the rule rather than the exception in today's society and only society can change that.No one"needs"all the extras Americans view as necessities.All that is needed for quality of life is family, food, and a safe home.Mortgages should be personally limited to just one income(evenif thereare2)to be better prepared should children eventually become part the picture(we did-one statistically very modest income-a nice 4bdrm home in new neighborhood and"survive"just fine).I wish parents would fight the system, economy and society for the sake of their children and their children's future.
How Much Sacrafice??
Some can't sacrifice as much as others, Angela K. That was very rude to assume that people don't want to sacrifice. Same goes for Cathleen in Long Beach. Obviously you two have it better than folks like me~ to be able to not work and still afford swimming lessons! Woo Hoo the luxury! Shame on you both for your ignorance!! My son was taken care of in his younger years by someone in their home and has turned out to be just as well mannered. How can you mention active/well adjusted? Are you suggesting that children that don't stay at home with mommy all the time are lazy butts and not well adjusted?? O and FYI~Our family time didn't suffer either, much to your dismay.
Commendable
First, I am so sorry for this couples loss. I am also proud they they are doing good by educating the public and trying to change laws. I will say that there is no way to keep a child totally safe but, we can do everything in our power to do our best. I was a stay at home mom when my daughter was molested by a teenage babysitter while I went to church once a week to teach. I was shocked and after that lived in daily paranoia. If someone wanted to do something they would so we can't control everything. I live a few houses from a sex offender (I saw him on the VA sex offender website). School buses drop kids off from school right in front of the house daily. I live in a neighborhood full of kids but, I can't move and I can't live in fear.
Day Care
Cathleen P-needs to understand that parents need both incomes just to keep a roof over their head-thats how it is. Also single parents have to work!?! I dont like day care, and I did stay home for ten years, and we did do with out a lot but I am glad I did. We did put the kids in part time day care-tried home-well know day care center. Did not like both of them-the care is not there and they have too many kids and can not care for all the children, the way I would. I feel bad for parents who have to search for good day care. I feel so sorry for the Weiss family and hope only the best for them. I happy to hear they are having another little girl-Good Luck
I am serious!
I cannot imagine loosing a child, my condolences. But, if you cannot afford to keep your child at home, don't have children.That said, who here screaming about day care being a necessity have two cars, a boat, two cell phones, cable or satellite, flat panel television, high-speed internet and all the other luxuries, yes luxeries, things not necessary for living? You have to work two jobs because you have these unnecessary things. My case? I have a 10 year old son, my wife works two jobs and I work 9 hours a day (both of us away from home) and my son's daycare consists of getting off the bus and getting a hug from mom. How? As was said earlier sacrifice! I find it disgusting your precious "things" take precedent over your children.
Some good from this tragedy?
I hope that some good can come from little Hannah's death. I have never understood why ALL daycare providers (even those caring for fewer than 6 children) don't have to get licenses. It seems that it would be so easy for these providers without licenses to slip under the radar and actually keep many more children without any oversight. Nothing is more important than keeping children safe!
Key word
"The Virginia Beach couple (thought) they had done their homework"
Are you Really Serious? You have got to be joking!
"Why have babies at all if some stranger has to care for them?" Wow! So, you are basically saying that unless you are wealthy enough to live on one income you should not have kids. I'm thinking that more than half of our society might have a problem with that statement. I'm not sure if you noticed, but our society is now built on two income families; its not the 40s or 50s anymore. When both husband and wife began careers, it changed our economy. Now two incomes is necessary to have a descent quality of life. For Example: Have you tried to buy a house in Hampton Roads on an average single salary? Not going to happen unless you are in bad areas. The issue at hand is choosing quality day-care providers and ensuring accountability.
Are you kidding me???
You have got to be kidding me. You never EVER in your life either had have someone care for your child( if you have any) or had to be cared for by someone else??? EVER??? I had a child spanked in a home day care when she was 2, thank god she was ok but it doesnt make me hate the home daycare system. Mine was regulated by the united state military home daycare system, so fat lot of good that did me by going through them who had been checked ALOT. I am sick over this families loss but how dare someone say that about dropping your child at daycare. So many families today have to have 2 parents working. We should be able to trust someone to care for our children. My thoughts and prayers are with this family. 10 years isnt enough.
Find a way to care for your own children.
I have only the deepest heart felt sympathy for these parents...it brought me to tears. How horrible.
We chose to have children, and then chose for me to give up my income, and stay home. It was hard. It is a sacrifice. We could have so much more if I worked. In the end though, we have so much more already. Our children are well mannered, well adjusted, active little kids. They play soccer, take swim lessons, and participate in lots of field trips with mommy. It is invaluable. The time I get to spend with my children makes it all worth it. I know they are safe. We get lunch with Daddy.
Anyone who says they can't 'not work', won't admit that they don't want to sacrifice. Even part time is better than nothing.
So Sad
Catherine,
I take offense at your comment and wonder what you're trying to say. Are you seriously one of those who believes that people who have to work outside the home don't deserve to have children? What an ignorant thing to say.
Are you kidding me???
You have got to be kidding me. You never EVER in your life either had have someone care for your child( if you have any) or had to be cared for by someone else??? EVER??? I had a child spanked in a home day care when she was 2, thank god she was ok but it doesnt make me hate the home daycare system. Mine was regulated by the united state military home daycare system, so fat lot of good that did me by going through them who had been checked ALOT. I am sick over this families loss but how dare someone say that about dropping your child at daycare. So many families today have to have 2 parents working. We should be able to trust someone to care for our children. My thoughts and prayers are with this family. 10 years isnt enough.
Day care is always scary...
for me. I am a single mom, with no other option but to work full time. My son has been in day care since he was 6 1/2 weeks old. I looked at many facilities; none of which were in-home because I was terrified by some of the things I read as I researched. I finally settled on well recommended facility in Virginia Beach. It was a little out of the way until I moved recently, but worth the extra time and gas to have piece of mind that my son is well cared for. My son has been there for over 16 months, and I still routinely do checks on the facility. When they bring in new people I ask questions. For me being actively awareof the care my son receives every day is the only option. I always ask questions. Every parent should.