Be careful with friendships on the job

By Samantha Bomkamp | The Associated Press

When it comes to workplace relationships, the general advice is to keep your distance. After all, friendships can be tested by a number of different issues in the workplace. But the people we see every day at work often become our closest friends. It’s no wonder, we spend roughly half of our waking hours with them.

So what’s the secret to balancing work and friendships, especially when things get rocky?

Know what comes first When you make friends at the office, you need to keep some important perspective: You’re primarily at the company as an employee, not a friend. And remember that some bosses frown on personal relationships in the workplace. You don’t want to be passed up for a promotion or not taken seriously because you are too much of a social butterfly, chatting with friends rather than working. “Work is work, we’re hired to do a job and as long as that takes priority, friendships can emerge naturally, be very constructive and quite enjoyable,” said Janie Fritz, associate professor of communication and rhetorical studies at Duquesne University.

Be selective You have to trust your friends, but you have to be able to trust your work friends more. Whether you realize it or not, the friends you make at work can have an impact on how your bosses view your performance. If a friend has productivity problems or other issues, you might find yourself under greater scrutiny. It’s also important to be extra vigilant about work friends’ ability to keep secrets — that person you’re confiding in might have an agenda of his or her own. Or he or she might be just one of those people who can’t keep their mouths shut.

Zip the lip A major issue that tends to come up in workplace relationships, Fritz said, is when people divulge too much about their personal lives. “We’re human, we like to connect with others, the problem is when we forget there is a public sphere and a private sphere,” she said. For example, sharing brief stories about your family is fine, but it’s best to save those long talks about your personal problems for social settings like bars or restaurants, not the office.

Uneven playing field What if one of you gets promoted or is on shaky ground with management? To put it simply, when workers are on different levels, the friendship has to take a back seat. If there’s now a supervisor-employee relationship between you and your friend, it may be hard to have a friendship when there’s also friction over work assignments, performance reviews and other aspects of working for someone else. One friend might expect special treatment from the other, something that could jeopardize both jobs. The friendship can survive only if both people agree to keep their work and professional lives entirely separate — something that is hard for most people to do.