Acting like a shrinking violet at work? These tips can help

By Liz Reyer

(Minneapolis) Star Tribune
Are you a bit shy at work? Perhaps you’ve found yourself in this situation: In meetings, you have ideas but are afraid to speak up. Then someone else mentions the same thing and gets the recognition.
The good news is that you can change your shy ways. You just need to prepare, trust in the quality of your ideas, and find safe ways to get started.
We’ll break it down for you:

EXAMINE THE ISSUE

1.) Look at the big picture. Anchor yourself in believing in the contributions you’d be making and the value you’d bring to your company.

2.) Look backward. The triggers that have caused you to hold back could go way back to school, or they might be more recent. Many people struggle with embarrassment from having made a mistake in what they said or from having been mocked or chided. Some shrug this off, but it has a stronger effect on others. Is this the case for you? If so, do a reality check on your current environment. Notice that ideas are rewarded, and set aside dated feelings.

3.) Look inward. At a deeper level, do you feel qualified to raise new perspectives? Define any limiting beliefs and develop counter-perspectives that help you move forward. You may also be adhering to some ideas about your role. Do “market analysts” compile information or interpret and recommend action? If you see it as just the former, you’ll be less apt to speak up.

4.) Think about your company’s culture. What responses do people in similar roles receive when they’re more outspoken? Is there a hierarchy at play, or are your limits are self-imposed?

CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR

1.) Start simple and set achievable goals. Pick a group you’re comfortable with. It may be because they’re more familiar, you have more expertise, or they’re generally gentler. Executive teams or teams that have a reputation for chewing people up? Save them for later.

2.) Know the agenda for the meeting. Plan possible contributions. Great ideas are often spontaneous, but it can help to have some thoughts teed up.

3.) Prepare your body and your attitude. If you tend to slouch in your chair, as though you’re retreating, practice engaged body language. Sit up and look like a participant in meetings and conversations. Focus on your voice, learning to project and sound confident. Use your breath to support your voice. Ease your nervousness by visualizing your hoped-for outcome.

4.) Take deep breaths. This helps if you start to clench up in a meeting. Remind yourself to believe in your ideas and give them a voice. Revisit the benefits, internal and external, of expressing yourself more fully.

5.) Get some help. Your boss and friends at work can be there for you. Get their feedback and support as you break your habit of timidity. Practice outside work, too; a program such as Toastmasters might be helpful.