Kathleen Anderson had been expecting the tearful call home.

Although her then-15-year-old daughter, Elyse, was an ocean away in Paris, Anderson didn't worry.

She simply understoo d it for what it was: the crying phase.

As a participant in Kempsville High School's annual French Exchange Program, Anderson is well-versed in what to expect from teens traveling abroad. Over the past few years, the family has hosted two French students.

"You learn some of this stuff is normal," said Anderson, a former employee of the Virginian-Pilot.

Since 1992, 260 French teens have called Virginia Beach home for 17 days, and about 70 Kempsville students have stayed with French families. They see the sights in each other's countries, but tourism isn't the main reason for the exchange program.

For Jean Gulick, the Kempsville French teacher who started the program, it's about life and language.

"That is the primary reason for going over - to experience French life first-hand and have a chance to really speak the language," she said. "To me, the trips are secondary."

It's a lot of work, finding host families, matching students to those families, scheduling field trips. Gulick and another Kempsville French teacher, Kristine Finnegan, take turns running the program.

And once the 20 French kids leave Kempsville each spring, Gulick and Finnegan begin planning all over again for the Kempsville students eager to stay abroad during the summer.

In the weeks before the students' arrival, the school walks host parents through the phases their students may experience while visiting - the initial homesickness and the crying phase toward the end of the visit.

But usually, before the visit is over, it's not just the students who are crying.

"What's interesting about the exchange is at the end of two weeks, you have parents crying at the airport," Gulick said.

The French students spend about two weeks with their hosts, absorbing the routine of family life abroad. Several days are spent visiting New York City, Washington, D.C., and touring historic sites in Williamsburg and Jamestown.

And, of course, there's plenty of time for the students and their teen hosts to visit the malls and beaches.

Gulick said that, in pairing students with host families, she tries to match the teens' interests. A few months before their visit, Gulick said, host students and exchange students begin e-mailing each other.

Elyse Anderson, now a junior at Kempsville and in her fifth year of French, was so well-paired with her French counterpart, Pauline Bailley, that the pair skated together in a program at Iceland Family Skating Center last week.

Their program featured a mix of French and English music and it blended their favorite pastimes - Elyse is an ice skater and Pauline a gymnast.

Anderson said it was important for her daughter to have that opportunity.

"I watch my kids on the Internet and I watch how the world is so small because they're just exposed to so many different people through the computer," she said. "But a computer doesn't give you culture and tell you what their home life is like. "

Beth Orr and her family have hosted two French students through the Kempsville French Exchange Program. Since then, the family has hosted seven students from Chile, Germany and Denmark with another exchange program.

Orr said the visits provide countless benefits to her three children.

"We love the experience of learning about different cultures and this is a good way to do that," Orr said. Culturally, she added, it helps children learn things they would have if they'd been overseas.

During their trip overseas, Kempsville students sight-see in Paris for five days, but most of the time is spent experiencing day-to-day life with their host families. Last summer, Orr's daughter, Emily, a junior at Kempsville, stayed with the family of the French student her family had hosted.

Keegan Coyne, 15, a student in Gulick's French 3 class, also made the trip abroad, staying with a family in Nantes, the seaport city where the program's students come from.

"I went to France last year and I barely talked," Coyne said. "I was intimidated by their French."

Likewise, some of the visiting French students are initially reluctant to speak English, but Gulick's counterpart in France, Marie-Helene Privat, has seen her students' English improve.

"They feel more confident," Privat said. "It's more of an incentive to show their teacher since they have been to the United States."

Gulick has also noticed how the exchange program improves her students' French, even after a couple of weeks.

"It makes a huge difference," Gulick said. "It just improves their proficiency, their vocabulary, their self-confidence in speaking French. But the most important thing is the bond they create.

" Hopefully, they will continue to keep this bond."

Rita Frankenberry, 222-5102 or

rita.frankenberry@pilotonline.com