Published on HamptonRoads.com | PilotOnline.com (http://hamptonroads.com)
You would give up….???? Anything?

Let’s play questions and answers. You start.

You: “OK. Ahno, if our government said that each of us has to give up something in order to conserve energy, what would you give up?”

Me: “I’d promise not to drive my car more than one hundred miles/week.”

You: “Wrongo, bongo, kiddo. Everyone knows that you never go anywhere.”

Me: “Sorry. Alright. I’d give up using my kitchen stove more than two days/week.”

You: “Wrong again, pal. We’re aware that you use your microwave most of the time and only fire up that stove a couple of times/week.”

Me (sulk, pout, sigh): “I see that my behaviors are well known to those who read my blog. So…here I go…I promise that I’ll never crank up the air-conditioning simply because the Chihuahuas like to sit in front of the dining room fire place.”

You (getting fed up): “This is your last chance and then I quit. Try again, sneaky one!!!”

Me (groan): “Here it is. The truth. I refuse to give up anything. And I mean it. Nothing goes. I don’t care.”

You (horrified): “Yeah, but if this is a government order with the force of law? You’d be in trouble.”

Me: (loud and getting louder): “Tough rocks! I hardly ever use my car. I’ve dialed up the temp on my air-conditioning thermometer so high that I can’t stand to sleep upstairs. I use my stove less than twice/week. I go to bed early so there is almost no light bulb use in my house. How much more can I do? Meanwhile that refried hypocrite Al Gore is still cruising around in a private plane. Before the government comes after me, they need to go get Al and make him fly home to Tennessee, flapping his big, fat arms all the way.”

You: “Hey. We were just playin‘. Don’t get mad.”

Me: “”I know, I know. But, you see, I just returned from a trip to the grocery store for tea and Coke and Mountain Dew. It’s so hot out there that I’m in melt-down mode. I NEED my air-conditioning.”

You (soothing voice): “Amen, sister. So do we all.”

 


Source URL (retrieved on 12/04/2008 - 15:34): http://hamptonroads.com/2008/07/you-would-give-%E2%80%A6-anything